I apologize for the lateness of this post, but I was in Chicago watching the epically talented Jon Brion over the New Year’s holiday.

Best Episode Ever – Or At Least – Best Most Recent Episode Ever: I would have been happy with just an illicit pool party with drugs and alcohol, but then they throw in money, blackmail, betrayal, sex, dreams crushed and achieved — who can resist this crap? Week after week, I just want the kids to be happy, but if they were ever really happy there would be no show. What a dilemma!

Let’s Throw A “We’re in Trouble Party”: This was just genius. The kids are in trouble because some fat clumsy drunk kid almost died at the illicit drug, alcohol, pool party. So they, of course, throw another party so they can all write their “We’re sorry” 10,000 word essays. By season 10, there will be over 40 parties in every episode.

How Stupid Am I? I just noticed that every episode except the pilot has been a pun on a movie with most of these being rewrites of the movie referenced. The first time I noticed this phenomenon was on 21 Jump Street where they even ripped off Oliver Stone’s Salvador. My favorites were the one where Johnny Depp was Sean Penn in Bad Boys, and the one where he wasn’t Sean Penn in Colors.

It’s Always All About Dan: Dan, always the most responsibly boring man in the pack, can turn any situation into a class issue between him and Serena. Sadly, this week he is right as Bart Bass, who looks more and more like the Terminator each week, buys her out of trouble, while Chuck evilly sits by smiling.

Mommy, My Love Is More Important Than Your Love: Serena does a 180 and tells Lily that she’d rather be Chuck’s stepsister than deal with the incestuous repercussions of a Rufus/Lily hookup.

So if you are scoring at home – Lily’s level of love is Serena, then Rufus, then Bart, which sadly for Rufus equals Bart. This is a violation of the transitive property or something.  I was a genius in math.