This isn't catastrophic. I still have my Toyota. I can still eat foods other than Ramen Noodles, and I won't get evicted from my apartment. While graduate school taught me little to nothing about running a private practice, I've learned over the past five years that there is a certain ebb and flow to the number of people who come in for services. Thus, a loss of income one year is not necessarily indicative of an alarming trend. I did consider that an attempt to increase business wouldn't be such a bad idea, just in case.

While brainstorming how to promote my practice, a friend of a friend invited me to attend a business-networking club that focuses on generating referrals for its members. The name of the group needs to be unstated, because if the members are half as litigious as they are wealthy, I'll have a summons in my hand within an hour of them reading this. "Just come to our weekly breakfast and see if it's something you might want to be a part of," the friend said. "We're really casual, you'll see. Just bring $20 for the food."

The breakfast was at the unholy hour of 6 AM. Apparently it is difficult to make money at this hour, so this is "pre-making money" time. In a large room with oak everything (walls, tables, chairs, podium), I was greeted by 15 extremely well-to-do professionals, all in business attire. Thinking the event was "casual," as I was told, I wore khakis and a dress shirt, and immediately stuck out due to a lack of jacket and tie.

The food itself wasn't bad: a small fruit plate and a cup of coffee, which of course made me wonder where most of my twenty dollars was going. Punctuality apparently was key for this group, as anyone who came in after 6 AM was not only denied breakfast, but also was not allowed to participate in introductions. In fact, those who were tardy weren't even allowed to sit at the meeting table and were instead banished to the outlying couches along the walls.

"I'm Janet," said a 40-ish and attractive woman standing at the podium. "I am the president of Chapter ____. Welcome members and guests. Now, let us pray."

Everyone bowed their heads, but it was more a moment of silence than a prayer, as no one spoke. I later learned that everyone was simply praying for more business.

"Today," Janet said, "Doug is being officially sworn in." As if on cue, Doug stood up and took out some sort of manual he held at eye level, the front of the book pointed at Janet.

Janet began the group's version of the Hippocratic Oath. "Doug, do you promise to serve our group well, to generate referrals for this group and only this group and, to the best of your ability, help us and yourself to attain financial independence?"