I went to this because I thought it might be fun. It WAS NOT. Satisfied?

If you have to go to this production, when you walk into the lobby of the newly renovated Hilton Theater (what an original name - was there an actor or a writer named Hilton?) walk up to one of the pillars in the lobby and give it a little knock-knock. Hollow. Faux.

Then walk over to the wall and do the same. Knock-knock. Hollow. Faux stone.

This should pretty much prepare you for what you are about to see inside the theater.

Actually I liked the first ten minutes or so. Then it was like being in some kind of musical loop because things kept repeating and repeating and repeating as if lifted from the movie - Gadzooks! Frankenstein wants to be pronounced Fronk-en-stine. Frau Blucher frightens humans and horses alike. Inga is a dumb blonde who only wants sex or something close to it. The Monster and Elizabeth are destined for each other and Igor has a movable hump.

Am I keeping you awake? Sorry.

The cast is bland, the music is boring, and the direction is of paint-by-numbers quality. Roger Bart is a lovely song and dance man who deserves a snappy little musical someday. Sutton Foster seems like a truly good person who can sing and dance and do a split, but then so could my best friend in fifth grade. She is as boring as she was in The Drowsy Chaperone. Sorry, but I just don't get the charisma factor there. And, meanwhile, Mel Brooks is raking in the dough. $450 for a Special Seating Ticket? It was bad enough he single-handedly raised the price of Broadway tickets 25% with The Producers. To charge for this production is insulting. But maybe he needs to do that to pay for having his name in the title. Good gravy.

Here's what I suggest: rent the movie. Then go out and get Gene Wilder's two novellas. Reading them will make you understand where the zing came from in Brooks's movies and why it is so, so very missing here.

Too bad The Drowsy Chaperone has closed. At least then I'd have a musical to recommend.

Feh. Feh, feh, feh.

The New Mel Brooks Musical: Young Frankenstein
Book by Mel Brooks and Thomas Meehan; music and lyrics by Mr. Brooks; based on the story and screenplay by Gene Wilder and Mr. Brooks and on the original motion picture by special arrangement with 20th Century Fox; directed by Susan Stroman.

WITH: Roger Bart (Frederick Frankenstein), Megan Mullally (Elizabeth), Sutton Foster (Inga), Shuler Hensley (the Monster), Andrea Martin (Frau Blucher), Fred Applegate (Inspector Kemp/Hermit), Christopher Fitzgerald (Igor), Heather Ayers (Masha), Jim Borstelmann (Shoeshine Man/Lawrence/Ziggy), Paul Castree (Herald/Bob), Jack Doyle (Mr. Hilltop), Kevin Ligon (Victor) and Linda Mugleston (Tasha).

Music arrangements and supervision by Glen Kelly; sets by Robin Wagner; costumes by William Ivey Long; lighting by Peter Kaczorowski; sound by Jonathan Deans; special effects by Marc Brickman. At the Hilton Theater, 214 West 43rd Street, Manhattan; (212) 307-4100. Running time: 2 hours 40 minutes.