After all these years I still fail to understand why, when the Bengals were shocking the Browns, when the Bears were stunning the Pack, when the Bills and Giants were going at it tooth and nail, when the Jags were romping and Warren Sapp was auditioning for a professional wresting gig, I was, by accident of geography, stuck watching the ineptitudes known as the Lions and Chiefs. That game was truly nauseating. The play was amateurish, the officiating was pathetic, the announcers were blind and ignorant, and the production crew did not catch a decent angle on any of the close plays. It was unwatchable. I found myself spending my time refreshing the score update page on FoxSports.com.

If I want more game choice I have two options, one of which I don't have. I could get Direct TV and buy the Sunday Ticket package. But since I own a condo that does not have the needed open line of sight for the dish antenna, I would have to sell my place and move somewhere that does. That's going a little far, especially in the current real estate market.

The option I do have open is to find a sports bar that has all the games playing, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I hate sports bars. They are disgusting. I am not the guy with the throwback jersey half-covering his beer gut, looking to avoid yard work on a Sunday. My body is not structurally capable of sitting comfortably on a wooden barstool for six hours straight. Microbrews have sufficiently spoiled my palette to the point where Bud Light triggers my gag reflex. And, at my age, the only time I should eat a plate of nachos or potato skins is if it is served with a side of Lipitor.

It's an on-demand world. I can get any songs I want from iTunes in about thirty seconds. I can watch hundreds, maybe thousands, of movies or TV shows instantly on a whim using nothing more than the magic wand called a "remote." Amazon can even get me books instantly from the comfort of my home. But I can't get the football game I want to see without putting my physical or financial health at risk. Get my congressman on the line!

Examining DVOA, specifically weighted DVOA which put more emphasis on recent games, the second tier of the AFC (below the Pats) is now a jumble. Note that both the Jags and Chargers have surpassed the Colts in weighted DVOA (and all four are above the NFC's best, Dallas). Part of that may be that the Colts have been on cruise control for a couple of weeks, but it certainly means that the flaky Steelers and the yet-to-be-determined sixth seed are already on shaky ground.