The Clunkers:

Jingle All the Way (1996) – Here is a movie that shows how being relentlessly materialistic is nothing more than plain idiotic. It looks like Schwarzenegger is trying to make his action-hero persona more accessible to kids by turning himself into a flying-toy action figure. Get the joke? I didn’t either.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) – In the world of movies that get you in the bah-humbug spirit, this one would reign supreme. Why? Because it makes the hideous creature effects of the Grinch outshine Dr. Seuss’ veiled social commentary, which proves that technical wizardry, when not needed, can detract from real insight.

All I Want for Christmas (1991) – How sad that a movie that tries to embrace family values is also so insipidly inane. We already know that the divorced parents should have never split. The children know it, the grandmother knows it, and the parents can’t deny it. So there is no conflict to worry about and there is no need for a movie about them.

Surviving Christmas (2004) – Wow, get the irony of this situation: a man who wants to literally buy back the childhood he missed. This one sounds like something out of Class 101 of self-destructing story premises. No wonder they released this sucker back in October so that people would forget about it by Christmas time.

Christmas with the Kranks (2004) – Talk about forcing the Christmas décor down people’s throats. I don’t know who got the idea that neighbors would gang up on you when you decided to skip Christmas, but if the world ever became as tyrannically bankrupt as this neighborhood, I would pack up my bags and choose to live in Mars.

So feel free to heed the recommendations and have a Merry Christmas!