Seven men on the line of scrimmage, per NFL rules. Three men in the backfield to block. And the large black dot? Well, that's Hester. The long snapper directs it to either the center upback, or to Hester himself. And then No. 34 just runs atwitter.

Yes, this could result in a 10-yard loss. But the other option is for a Chicago Bears quarterback to throw it deep. So consider: The percentage of returns Devin Hester converted into touchdowns is 6.8 percent. That same percentage of all offensive plays by Chicago Bears is 2.3 percent. Play the odds, Lovie Smith.

4. SS Miguel Tejada — Did you know the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary? Go on, Houston Astros, look it up. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

While you research that, we'll talk about that trade you made with the Baltimore Orioles, acquiring the All-Star shortstop in exchange for five players, none of which are remotely tantalizing. A potential offseason "steal" turned into a "gotcha." Tejada was — ta-da! — named in the Mitchell Report.

Hey Houston, your shoes are untied.

5. RB Maurice Jones-Drew — There may have been more crucial drives in the NFL, and certainly more exciting and thrilling ones. But in the Jacksonville Jaguars' 29-22 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday afternoon, J'ville put together what might have been the most dominating, demoralizing, and humiliating drive of the NFL this year.

Most offensive drives that result in points — discounting those with big yardage plays — usually last 10 plays. Fifteen is considered a long time. This one went 20 — twenty — plays over a span of 9:40 to start the third quarter.

Jones-Drew might have been the MVP of the drive. Twice in the drive were 4th-and-1 situations, and the 5'7", 212-pound Jones-Drew busted through for the conversion each time.

Jones-Drew's 69 yards on 12 carries were overshadowed by Fred Taylor's 147 yards and touchdown score, but the combination of Taylor and Jones-Drew amassed over 200 yards. Against Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh. In the snow. New England might be the team to beat in the AFC, but if I'm a team in those playoffs, I sure as hell don't want to play Jacksonville, even in the elements.

6. PG Steve Nash — I could type out the latest Batting Sixth Quote Of The Week, but why not let it come straight from the Phoenix Suns point guard's mouth, which also contained a tooth which was chipped in the first half: