OPINION

How Would You Handle a Teen Who Doesn't Want to Wear a "Scarf" Over Her Head?

Written by LorMarie
Published December 13, 2007

Ever get into a fight with your teen over what he or she chooses to wear? Clothing can certainly be a source of strife between parents and teens. Some parents demand that their teen dress modestly. Others allow for some creativity but still draw the line where they consider it appropriate.

Then there are parents who simply kill their children over articles of clothing. Unfortunately, that is the method preferred by Toronto resident, Muhammed Parvez. According to this article in AOL News, the 57-year-old Parvez, a devout Muslim, was staunch in his belief that his daughter should wear the hijab in order to show devotion to her religion. She did not share his view and met a terrible fate as a result.

As of now we can only speculate as to exactly how Parvez killed his daughter. We do know that the victim was found in her home with no pulse. Paramedics were able to resuscitate her and bring her to two hospitals for treatment, but in the end, her life could not be saved.

Aqsa Parvez, age 16, was just like every other young lady. I imagine her wanting to wear trendy clothing just like her friends. It just so happened that her self-expression did not include the hijab, a traditional head scarf worn by Muslim women. This probably had nothing to do with rejecting her culture or religion, but was simply a matter of choice. Her father apparently could not have cared less about her motives.

What exactly was so offensive to Mr. Parvez that he had to kill his daughter over a head scarf? It does not matter whether he intended to kill her; she is dead, and over something so trivial. Yes, I said trivial. The dispute over wearing the hijab was not even worth fighting over, not to mention killing. I wonder if he was the man who called 911. Or was it Aqsa's older brother Waqas Parvez, who was arrested for obstructing justice? Hopefully, swift justice will be served.

Lorraine Marie is a writer based in the New York Metro Area. Her writing credits include coverage of Fashion Week and other events in New York City.
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How Would You Handle a Teen Who Doesn't Want to Wear a "Scarf" Over Her Head?
Published: December 13, 2007
Type: Opinion
Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Society, Culture: Religion, Culture: Crime and Court
Writer: LorMarie
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Comments

#1 — December 14, 2007 @ 12:41PM — Jess Turisch

Mr. Parvez is a murderer and should be brought to justice. However, the relevance of his being a "devout Muslim" to his murdering his daughter is about the same as that of "devout Christians" who murder their children because they're possessed, disobedient, etc.

Sick is sick, and just because someone acts on their sick impulses in the name of religion (or politics or whatever) isn't an indictment against those beliefs.

It does speak volumes about the person acting on them, however. Let's not forget that in this climate of Islam-bashing that seems to fester here at Blogcritics.

#2 — December 14, 2007 @ 13:48PM — LorMarie [URL]

Thank you for commenting. While I understand the point you are trying to make, I have to consider what I am told from those who were once Muslims and have been seasoned in the faith for years (not saying you have or haven't). On what did Parvez base his actions? His opinions? A literal interpretation of the Quran? Perhaps his interpretation was figurative. These incidents do not appear to be isolated. I firmly believe that we should look honestly at all religions (or even at atheism) and the issues within it that leads to problems.

#3 — December 14, 2007 @ 14:26PM — Erika

Family violence is not something new to the west. Unfortunately in light of recent events North Americans have become more aware of the Muslim culture and with the war in Afganistan, the pligt of women in countries that have chosen to interpret the Quran in such a way that it has led to the detriment of the women in those countries.

How many men have killed their wives/girlfriends in the US this year? How many children have been hospitalized or worse died in the US this year at the hands of their fathers? What is the number of children that were physically or psychologically abused in the US this year? If you are able to give these numbers, then I commend you for being well educated and informed on the topic of domestic violence.

The wearing of the hijab is just one of the issues that this father and daughter clashed. It's very unfortunate, that in the west where so much is available this family did not recieved the couseling that could have prevented this tragedy. That is the age in your life when everything is changing so rapidly, you don't know where you even belong or what you want. How unfortunate, that there was no support to provide parenting guidance to this family on how to cope with their daughter at this vulnerable stage in her life.

#4 — December 14, 2007 @ 15:51PM — LorMarie [URL]

Erika,

It is hard to believe that the problems within the Parvez family are motivated by simple father/daughter conflicts. We cannot escape that this family comes from a "worldview" where the oppression of women is as common as can be. If you could explain how honor killings, forced marriage, denial of political or even basic human rights are related to "family clashes", then I commend you for being well-versed in those issues as it relates to culture.

I agree that they did not receive much needed counseling. Unless the father were to have admitted to a problem, counseling would not have been possible.

#5 — December 15, 2007 @ 12:50PM — k

it's remarkable that the author says we can only speculate about HOW the man killed his daughter, but as for why, she seems to have all the answers with no doubt in her mind.
how does she even know the man was "devout" and who judges what makes devoutness?
how do we know he killed her over the hijab anyway? where is the proof of that?
let's be a little more modest and circumspect and not just jump to conclusions that fit in with our biases.

#6 — December 15, 2007 @ 13:44PM — LorMarie [URL]

K,

If one follows this story, there is no room for doubt as to what this man's beliefs were. Why would this young girl leave home in traditional Muslim dress, but change once she arrived at school? Perhaps moderate or liberal muslims demand that there children wear the traditional clothing? Not according to my experiences with various cultures. I have taught for many years (many Muslim students). The more devout the parents, the more tradition they will demand from their children. So it is obvious that his beliefs led to this tragedy.

And yes, I do have a bias. I have a bias in favor of human beings to live their lives as long as they don't infringe upon the rights of others. My bias in favor of human rights is more important than political correctness.

#7 — December 17, 2007 @ 12:37PM — Jess Turisch

Sorry, LorMarie, but in light of your replies not being able to pass the smell test, it appears to me and the other folks posting that you're only being partly truthful in that you have a bias.

If you are really interested in human rights I don't see how you can't acknowledge the presence of intra-family violence period, which Erika points out.

That you're harping on one particular instance involving a Muslim and trying to paint this as somehow intrinsic to that belief system leads me to believe that your agenda of painting Islam as violently anti-woman (and to fair, there are ways to interpret Islamic teachings to justify this sort of behavior if that's what you're of a mind to do), leads me to conclude you have an agenda, and promoting it is more important than any objective discussion of "human rights."

#8 — December 17, 2007 @ 15:16PM — LorMarie [URL]

Yes I do have a bias. I'm not afraid to admit it. If you familiarize yourself with my posts (and writing I've done in the past) you will see that I speak my mind regardless of collective offenses. The style of writing I admire includes Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Christopher Hitchens, Dinesh D'Souza, etc. I mention them just to give you an idea of where I am coming from and what you could expect from me. My only limits include personal attacks against those I debate. I am not a fan of fundamentalists of any stripe and have no problem speaking out against religious belief systems (or non-belief such as atheism). The only thing for anyone to be sorry about is expressing more outrage over my bias than this young woman's death.

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