There is no way I am touching the Jets/Pats. I cannot make myself give 24 points, and I cannot honestly believe the Jets are likely to cover it, which is my way of saying that spread is about right. This is supposed to be payback day for Cameragate, but now it turns out that Cameragate itself may have been a payback for an earlier whistle-blowing by the Pats on a Jets spy. So really, it's an extended game of I'm Rubber You're Glue. Lost in all this is that this game is utterly meaningless as far as the season goes. I am long past the point of being annoyed to have to write about the Pats.

Atlanta goes into full meltdown as their coach flees for the Arkansas hills. What a disastrous year for the Falcons. Poor Joey Harrington sits at his piano and nothing but the Blues comes out. Meanwhile, it looks like Tampa Bay might really have Jeff Garcia back this time, but their starting TE is suspended. A 13-point victory for the Bucs sounds doable, but it's a lot to count on. Pass.

The happiest news of the week is the triumphant return of Kyle Orton's neck beard (and the family of four living inside it) to the Bears. That may be the only thing the Bears have to feel positive about, because they are going into Minnesota where Adrian Peterson looks at their once great defense as playground obstacle course. A ten point spread sounds about right to me. Pass.

This is getting ludicrous. Game after game, the spreads seem to be exactly where they should be.

New Orleans is finally improving. Both they and the visiting Cards need to win this week to stay in the hunt for a wild card. For all their troubles this year, the Saints are a better team than Arizona and they are at home. The 3.5 point spread worries me a bit. When you are giving 3.5, overtime and last minute field goals victories are of pretty much of no use. Countering that, the Saints may actually benefit from Reggie Bush sitting out, à la the Seahawks and Shaun Alexander. Pick: New Orleans -3.5

San Francisco coach Mike Nolan and (former) starting QB Alex Smith hate each other and are taking it out in public. By that I mean they are saying things "privately" that "league sources" are spilling to reporters, but you didn't hear that from me. SF is the worst team in the League and they look to be down to their 3rd string QB. Coming to the Bay are the underrated Bengals. Cincinnati is giving 8 points which would normally be no problem, except they are effectively out of the hunt and may just go on cruise control. I'll hope they play for pride. Pick: Cincinnati -8