Satire: Anderson Varejao is The Third Man Again
Published December 07, 2007
"Why not?"
"It's a far far better thing I do with the ol' Varejao 'do than hurt myself for minimum wage. No. Danny, you and I aren't heroes; the world doesn't make heroes."
"You'll get plenty of contracts."
Varejao furrows his brow. "I'm so tired of your planted stories. I've got to be so careful. I'm only safe in Spain. I'm only safe here so long as you can use me."
"So long as I can use you?"
"I wish I could get rid of this thing."
Ferry's eyes widen. "So that's how they found out about your Charlotte deal. You told them, didn't you?"
"Don't try to take point again, old man."
"What do you expect me to do? Be part of your..."
"...You can have any part you want as long as you don't interfere with my contract demands. I never let you down on the court." Varejao takes the step necessary to bring himself over Ferry. Ferry can smell the hint of apple in Varejao's gel. "Old man, you never should have gone to the press, you know. You ought to leave this thing alone."
"Have you ever seen any of your teammates? The fans? Those poor victims..."
"You know, I never feel comfortable in these sort of things." Varejao pauses and rolls his eyes quite dramatically. "Victims? Don't be melodramatic." Varejao rolls open the wooden door of the carriage and points a finger down sixty meters to the Spanish soil below. "Look down there. Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped cheering forever? If I offered you the price of a courtside season ticket for every dot that stopped, would you really - old man - tell me to keep my money or would you calculate how many spots you could afford to spare, free of the pressure of winning? It's the only way you could make money nowadays."
"A lot of good your demands will do you in a Euro league."
"That league's in another continent, if you catch my drift; no one will care about my NBA demands. Besides, there's no proof against me. Besides you."
Both men size the other up for an unbearable time. Eventually, Ferry slowly slips his arms around the door frame and grips it tightly.
"I should be pretty easy to get rid of."
"Pretty easy."
Ferry pulls his shoulders back and stands tall, nearly bumping his head on the carriage roof. "Wouldn't be too sure."
- Satire: Anderson Varejao is The Third Man Again
- Published: December 07, 2007
- Type: Satire
- Section: Sports
- Filed Under: Sports: Basketball
- Writer: Tuffy
- Tuffy's BC Writer page
- Tuffy's personal site
- Spread the Word
- Like this article?
- Email this
Save to del.icio.us






All right then. Nothing on the Internet can ever be considered obscure. Ever again.