The Magical Hanukkahtime Section Variety Hour is an eight-day festival of light reading. BC Magazine's sports editor spreads his Gentile love in every other section but his own. And because it's Hanukkah, the gifts of are substandard quality: in this case, it's an article. Today: BC TV/Film.

I've been following the writers strike closely, and by that I mean I'm cognizant of such a strike. Beyond that, I could tell you that it essentially halts productions of all TV shows that involve some sort of writing, which means it won't affect forthcoming episodes of According To Jim.

I'm also aware that the strike has opened my eyes regarding how well writers are paid on DVD and Internet sales, which is not very. It made me wonder what other groups of television industry workers are being treated unfairly and what they should demand.

A methodical system of brainstorming and NyQuil came up with four groups:

Canned Laughers
Demands: Stock options, weekend chortle privileges
Initial Corporate Offer Of Appeasement: Holiday chuckle privileges, Fran Drescher
Sample Picket Sign:

Opening Credits Writers
Demands: Overtime pay, serif fonts
Initial Corporate Offer Of Appeasement: Overtime pay if writing credits to Lost, Courier New
Sample Picket Sign:

Cue Card Holders
Demands: Job security in today's world of teleprompters and hosts who can remember words, non-toxic markers.
Initial Corporate Offer Of Appeasement: Double-sided poster board
Sample Picket Sign:

Paid Extras
Demands: Speaking lines, the ability to occasionally look at the characters who do speak, names
Initial Corporate Offer Of Appeasement: Freedom to mumble under one's breath in the deleted scenes, the stock options that the canned laughers wanted but weren't offered
Sample Picket Sign: