Burlesque? Blake Lively practically filming a French art film? Nate’s Dad landing a father/son punch straight to the Federal pen? Blair symmetrically giving her virginity up to Chuck? A Black transvestite? Yes, children this was the single greatest episode of Gossip Girl ever, the one that eventually they will all be measured against!

The Mini-Blairs

I can’t help it; I’m obsessed with Blair’s Black and Asian friends. I think that their names were actually mentioned this week by Serena when she told Blair about being filmed kissing Dan. I literally rewinded about ten times, but Blake Lively’s pronunciation was undecipherable. I think the producers of this show are doing this just to make me crazy.

The Three’s Company Moment

A drunken Chuck tells Lily that dad was cheating on her. Dad was actually innocent, which brings us to:

The Red Bart

I love that name. Chuck’s dad is essentially a terminator. Even though Chuck and the Red Bart are the exact same relationship that you saw with Logan and his dad in Gilmore Girls, I’m still amused. As for the Red Bart’s innocence with the Asian reporter? No way, just because they had an innocent reason to be together doesn’t mean he still didn’t bang her. After all, he’s the Red Bart.

Chuck’s Business Idea

Nothing like an underage kid looking to invest in an adult business. The club is up and running, why do they need cash? Again, totally stolen from Gilmore Girls’ Huntzberger saga. The Red Bart should have told Chuck to think big and made him the next Larry Flynt.

Funniest Line

Nate’s dad says, “I’m not cutting the conversation short.” Uh, yeah, actually that’s exactly what you are doing.

Reflecting On Last Week

When Nate’s mom said, “It’s not my cocaine, and it’s not your father's.” Last week this seemed normal, but when I saw it replayed it was more like, “We keep our coke in gold snifters, not plastic baggies."

The New Queen of Denial

Nate’s mother, who was all set to institutionalize her son, sticks her head into the sand like an ostrich when she hears Dad is the druggie.

Vanessa

She’s obviously supposed to be the voice of reason, but frankly, she annoys the hell out of me. Dan should have thrown her ass back out of that window.

Blair vs. Jenny: Kill the Messenger

Blair passive-aggressively tells Jenny not to keep secrets from her. When Jenny unloads the big truth about Nate, her reaction is, of course, “You’re dismissed, for good!” Loved it.