OPINION

Reflections of a Recidivist Fangirl

Written by Barbara Barnett
Published November 05, 2007
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As I hit my teens, my television habit slightly diminished, replaced by politics, playing my guitar, writing poetry and discovering real-life boys. But it was also during my teens that I discovered the great Victorian romance novels of the Brontes (Emily and Charlotte) and Jane Austen. I completely fell in love (as did Jane Eyre) with the dark and brooding Edward Rochester, rejecting the cruder and more vicious Heathcliff (the anti-hero of Wuthering Heights). To win my undying devotion, my guy had to bury his feelings of rejection and bitterness, not lash out cruelly. Sorry, Heathcliff.

I then hit the mother lode of melancholic antiheros when I discovered the great Russian writers in novel and film. My favorite of that period was the dissipated but ultimately heroic Pierre Bezukhov in Tolstoy’s War and Peace. Henry Fonda’s portrayal of Pierre (good as Fonda always was) paled in comparison to the young Anthony Hopkins’ in the BBC/Masterpiece Theatre production. It was love at first sight. Yuri Zhivago — no matter how stunningly gorgeous Omar Sharif was in the role — held no candle to Bezukhov’s ultimate nobility and redemption.

But War and Peace was an important historical novel — great and epic battles; Zhivago was about the Russian revolution. Wars, you say? There were wars and battles? Generals and bayonettes and killing in those novels? Really? History? Bah! To a teenage girl, those were trifling interferences to the real stories of those hefty volumes and hours-long film events. Those Russians really knew how to write romance!

The years passed by, as they say, and fantasy crushes fell victim to career and sex (not necessarily in that order) sending my fictional romances deep into the background. But the preferences engendered by those fangirl crushes endured, helping to inform my preferences for finding the “real” Mr. Right: blue eyes (must be intense blue eyes); English accent optional (but highly preferred); intelligent; slightly mysterious, and given to brooding, writing poetry and music-making. Strong but vulnerable; wicked sense of humor; but compassionate and self-effacing. A bit of a rebel. Check. Check. Check. And double check. My mother had warned that I was being too picky (“fickle” was her word). “The man you’re looking for only exists in the movies,” she admonished almost daily. Little did she know. Okay, so maybe she was right about the English accent being a bit unrealistic.

For all my love of (the idea of) romance, I had never been much of a soap opera fan. Until I lost my job, and was out of work for six weeks. Bored and depressed (and living in an apartment that I could not really afford) and between (real-life) boyfriends, I tuned into General Hospital on rainy fall afternoon in 1979 while typing job application letters. And then I saw HIM. All bed-head curly hair, lanky and tall, melancholy and tormented: Luke Spencer. As in Luke and Laura. Need I say more?

I had sincerely believed that my fictional crushing days had been long-since outgrown, only to witness my fangirlishness return with a vengeance. Sigh. My new-found love for Luke expanded to include other soap-opera characters on General Hospital, One Life to Live and All My Children. I was now hopelessly addicted, and my obsession seemed to grow by the day, only to finally be broken after marriage, motherhood and a new job (and no VCR) forced me to give up the soaps cold turkey.

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Barbara Barnett grew up on politics and pop culture. Her professional life has been ecclectic and eccentric, having acquired university degrees in biology, Political Science and Public Policy. Her real passions are writing, music, reading sad novels and spy novels, and discussing House MD, and its star Hugh Laurie.
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Reflections of a Recidivist Fangirl
Published: November 05, 2007
Type: Opinion
Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Television, Video: SF, Video: Drama, Video: Cult, Sci/Tech: Internet, Culture: Personal History, Books: Literature and Fiction, Books: Classics
Writer: Barbara Barnett
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Comments

#1 — November 5, 2007 @ 10:28AM — grigorisgirl [URL]

Only the other day I was trying to explain my Bezuhov/Hopkin "thing" to somebody on-line and now I find him at the top of the page!

Kuryakin, Rochester, Dalton, Rickman, we must have been seperated at birth!

#2 — November 5, 2007 @ 10:39AM — Barbara Barnett [URL]

I have found (especially in the last couple of years) that a lot of women have followed a similar set of actors. I can post a comment making reference to Illya on a House, MD or a Hugh Laurie fan message board, only to have 15 people acknowledging that they, too, had a "thing" for Illya. My reason for writing this blog was to try to make some sense out of that exact phenomenon!

Barbara

#3 — November 5, 2007 @ 10:48AM — sdemar

Barbara, I, too, loved Illya Kuryakin and Spock. I even attended a Star Trek convention so I could meet LN. Luke, of General Hospital, was another one that tugged at my heart. And now, Hugh Laurie, and those beautiful blue eyes of his. He makes me sigh. You are in good company, my friend.

#4 — November 5, 2007 @ 22:01PM — genagirl

I hear you, Sister! My fictional boyfriends began with Jack Wilde on H.R. Puffenstuff (his cute accent made me fall in love with Brits for the next 40 years). I still get a kick out of David McCallum on NCIS though I was a Napoleon fan and my obsession with Hugh Laurie and House is as great as yours. What can you do, they're always sexy, complicated and usually wounded, they never make messes and they leave you alone when you turn off the TV set - the perfect man.

#5 — November 5, 2007 @ 22:11PM — Barbara Barnett [URL]

Thanks Sdemar!

Genagirl--You are so right. No muss/no fuss. Perfect men. It's funny how our tastes are established so early on. When I look back and think of how young I was when my attraction to a specific male type began, it's pretty bizarre. I don't think the same can be said for my daughter (although I don't know for sure).

But oh, my. Jack Wilde on HR Puffenstuff. Wasn't he also in the original Oliver! cast? I seem to recall something about that. But it's been (sigh) 40 years?

barbara

#6 — November 5, 2007 @ 23:35PM — Louise

Dear Sister Barbara,

You do have exquisite taste. I really thought I was past all this intense absorption until the additively fascinating Hugh Laurie brought his talents to House. But, I tend to be loyal--or obsessed--I just purchased a DVD to keep watching Peter O'Toole in Lawrence of Arabia--the VHS tape wore out. Ah, there along with Rochester is a prototypical wounded hero.

Louise

#7 — November 6, 2007 @ 08:57AM — Judy

ditto, ditto, ditto! I have found my true family!! welcome home girls!

#8 — November 6, 2007 @ 08:57AM — Barbara Barnett [URL]

But, I tend to be loyal--or obsessed--I just purchased a DVD to keep watching Peter O'Toole in Lawrence of Arabia--the VHS tape wore out. Ah, there along with Rochester is a prototypical wounded hero.



I did the same thing with the BBC Jane Eyre. And of course I absolutely HAD to have both the UK and US versions of Maybe Baby (with Hugh Laurie). And then get a region decoder for my computer so that I could watch the Region 2 version (and the director/actor commentary track with Hugh and Ben Elton)...ah, what we do for our men!

#9 — November 6, 2007 @ 11:12AM — iamdaffodils

My name is Cathy and I'm a Hugh-holic. Excellent blog Barbara! And yes, another Ilya Kurakin fan here. I was probably about 6 or 7 when Man From Uncle started. I never understood how anyone could have a crush on Napoleon Solo - there was just no comparison as far as I was concerned. I even had an Ilya Kurakin doll with the gun that really worked! Wish I still had that.

My first three childhood crushes were Richard Chamberlain, David McCallum and Davy Jones, so I had a thing for British accents early on - (Chamberlain moved to England after Kildare ended, so he had one too at one point!)

But back to the topic at hand - Mr. Laurie makes me feel like I'm back in grade school again. He's definitely the best crush I've ever had - even though I'm WAY told old to be a fan girl. What's the cutoff age on that by the way?

Cathy

#10 — November 6, 2007 @ 11:28AM — Barbara Barnett [URL]

Hi Cathy,

I'm "sasmom" on a fan forum which we both well (I think, anyway!)

I had an Illya doll too! And my older (musician) brother made me my own transmitter out of a 1/4 inch amplifier jack!

But, as you say, back to the subject at hand (and although this essay isn't part of "Welcome to the End of the Thought Process" my House feature here on BlogCritics, it's certainly the source it is certainly related to it). Hugh Laurie's splendid, nuanced and emotional portrayal of the (supposedly) unemotional Gregory House certainly spawned this most recent (and long-lasting) crush.

As far as an age cutoff, I'm ancient at 52, so... I say there is no age cutoff to this particular sisterhood!

barbara

#11 — November 6, 2007 @ 11:57AM — iamdaffodils

Hi Barbara! Yes I'm quite familiar with (like practically live there!) that particular fan forum (and the one we used to post at too - not sure if you still do since I quit going there). I always love your insight and analyses. You wrote such an amazing one for S3 - made me realize things that as many time as I've watched those episodes, had never thought about, and I understood the journey from Meaning to Human Error.

That is so cool that your brother made you a trasmitter! My brother is 6 years older so he was a teen and really into Man From Uncle back in the day...of course he watched it for very different reasons than I did!!!!

I like that you describe House as "supposedly" unemotional because we know how untrue it is to call him unemotional, or when someone says he doesn't care about a patient. We've had too many scenes of him in the hallway silently, intently watching his patients. We know better. Another thing I dislike is when he's described as a grouch or cranky. To me that's just too easy a label to put on the character. He's far more complex and layered to be explained away with an adjective. As he told Stella in Need To Know, "I'm complicated. Chicks dig that." Oh yeah!!!

Oh and glad to know there's not an age cutoff on fangirlhood - I'm 50 and so happy to be in the sisterhood of Hughlovers!

#12 — November 6, 2007 @ 12:30PM — Barbara Barnett [URL]

I like that you describe House as "supposedly" unemotional because we know how untrue it is to call him unemotional, or when someone says he doesn't care about a patient. We've had too many scenes of him in the hallway silently, intently watching his patients. We know better. Another thing I dislike is when he's described as a grouch or cranky. To me that's just too easy a label to put on the character. He's far more complex and layered to be explained away with an adjective. As he told Stella in Need To Know, "I'm complicated. Chicks dig that." Oh yeah!!!


The "supposedly" was placed in there for just the reason you describe so well. I've always contended that rather than House not being able to "feel," he actually "feels" too much. His attitude, the walls he puts up and the other defenses he employs are to prevent his feelings from both exposure and from getting in the way of the objective rational problem solving he needs for his job (and his passion.) We've seen House in situations where his emotions are too close to the surface; and like Mr. Spock, his efforts to submerge them behind rationalism and logic sometimes fail. It is then when we get those "moments."

Barbara

#13 — November 6, 2007 @ 15:02PM — iamdaffodils

"His attitude, the walls he puts up and the other defenses he employs are to prevent his feelings from both exposure and from getting in the way of the objective rational problem solving he needs for his job (and his passion.)"

Perfectly said Barbara. He won't ever let anyone catch him caring for exactly the reasons you said. But I would love for them to do an episode where we see him deal with his emotions in the aftermath of a patient's death, a child, who he had bonded with but of course never let on that fact to anyone. There's always fan fiction I guess!

Cathy

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