Vanessa: You said you love me
Dan: Loved, as in the past.

Ouch.

Jenny completes her revenge scenario by grabbing Chuck’s pants and locking him sans phone out on the roof. It even seems to be the same roof where Dan punched him in week one.

Rufus sweet talks Lily and tells her that she is too good for Bart Bass. Bart finally has gotten jealous and seeks out Lily. Rufus leaves as Lily looks over perhaps once again intrigued by the Rufus mojo.

Serena and Jenny discuss Dan and Vanessa’s history. Jenny assures Serena that she’s Dan’s true love. Since they are almost dressed exactly alike, the two exchange masks to set in motion what we can only hope is a truly spectacular Three’s Company blow-out fight, because we’re quickly running out of time and no punches have been thrown.

Nate tells Serena that he’s not over her. Only, it’s Jenny. Blair grabs at a running away Serena, only it’s Jenny. Blair winds up with Jenny’s bracelet, which means little sister is not only busted, but that she may owe a certain jeweler more than her Dad makes in a decade. To make it more absurd, even Dan mistakes Jenny for Serena.

Wait a second. There’s no fight! This is just a farce. Dan and Serena kiss. Dan and Vanessa decide to be friends. Blair doesn’t give it up to Nate, because he made no effort to locate her. Chuck isn’t even really that upset over his naked lock-out. This is ridiculous! I’m owed at least four punch outs.

Coda: Nate’s dad gets to bring Eleanor Waldorf’s company public. Unfortunately, mom finds dad’s drugs and Nate gets blamed. Sucks to be Nate.