I had always wondered what the possibilities were if one utilized the Monsters, Inc. machine to channel the unrefined energy of singing, laughing children, coupled with the power of our Lord and Savior Jesus, the love and patriotism of America, and the guitar ability of Joe Satriani. You'd probably win your first seven playoff games too.

And with that sentiment, I'd so be on that Colorado Rockies bandwagon. Despite the cabin already beyond the recommended occupancy with the entire non-Boston, non-Cleveland population, I'd muster some way to grapple onto the sides and hang on.

If only I weren't an Arizona Diamondbacks fan.

As Matt Holliday hit his fourth home run of the postseason, a three-run blast to center field off the D'backs' Micah Owings in the fourth inning, the lead in a potential-series-clinching Game 4 increased to 6-1, and my instinctive reaction to ease the pain was to turn the TV off. And I did.

Testing the fallibility of my instinctive reflexes, I flipped the television back on in the top of the fifth. On the very next pitch, Eric Byrnes struck out on a 1-2 pitch to end the inning. Off you go again, TV.

Of course, I turned the game back on right before I went to bed ... and it was 6-4 Diamondbacks. I don't know how baseball did it, but the game sucked me back in like an Electrolux on PMS. And of course, Tony Clark was seen batting with a 1-1 count and a runner on base, but he eventually struck out swinging with a full count. At this juncture, it wasn't necessary to turn the TV off, because a healthy blend of the mute button and kicking the bed sufficed.

But naturally, watching the top of the ninth was also in order. A Jeff Salazar groundout. A toothpick of hope showed up in a Chris Young double. But then came a Stephen Drew popout. And the tantalizing yet sharp pain faded to a numbing mixture of disappointment and foolishness as Stephen Drew — who earlier in the series said the Rockies were lucky to win the first two games in Arizona — check-swung into a groundout, ending the game and the series.