Bottled water is not exactly abundant in Arizona. It's a very precious resource. A finite product in a desert city. You know that "8 glasses a day" sermon? Follow that medical credo, especially in Phoenix, says the man who damn near gets heat stroke every time he goes out there. Don't, for whatever reason, under any circumstances throw your water bottle away.

Because sometimes it also makes you look like an ass.

In the 7th inning of the Colorado Rockies' 5-1 win over Arizona, the Diamondbacks' base runner Justin Upton was attempting to break up a double play on Augie Ojeda's grounder to short. Upton's slide was effective, but the post-slide arm tackle on Kaz Matsui was frowned upon. The baseball equivalent of "half the distance to the goal" is "the batter is also out." And here I thought you could never assume a double play.

Now that the fanboy line is out of my system, I can saliently claim it was a good call.

But D'backs fans, in a combination of disagreement and frustration that their team was down 5-1 (with ace Brandon Webb pitching), chucked water bottles and souvenir cups into the field of play. As the grounds crew cleaned up the debris thrown onto the field, not once did a groundskeeper find a message hidden behind the label containing a rational argument for why second base umpire Larry Vanover made a bad call. It was getting so bad that manager Clint Hurdle summoned his Rockies defense back into the dugout until the P.A. equivalent of "don't make me turn this car around!" was relayed and absorbed into the stands.

Maybe it's only fair that the umpires award the Rockies all the bottles that have "under the cap" codes and prizes.

Game 2 tonight will pit Arizona's Doug Davis against Colorado's Ubaldo Jimenez. Perhaps Chase Field should curb sale of any portable liquid after the sixth inning. This means kegs are fair game.

I Was Too Lazy And Uncreative To Integrate These Paragraphs Into The Story, But Beat Writers Just Call Them "Notes"

• A point of wit goes directly into the savings account of Chip Caray, now that he can no longer slurp the Yankees, on the D'backs fans (loosely quoted, because BC Magazine's kickbacks have yet to pay for DVR): "We know they can boo, but we're still waiting for the hiss."

• Tampa Bay outfielder BJ Upton was in attendance to watch his brother Justin play in the game. Between innings he was interviewed by the always fashionable Craig Sager, who called him a good role model for his team. This makes sense. Justin was successfully demonstrating how a Devil Ray can go to a playoff game.

• Seriously, guys. 17 out of 18. Right now George Steinbrenner is pointing at the TV from his Craftmatic Adjustable Bed and saying, "THAT! I WANT THAT!"