Gray Matters is the zenith of the fluffy, unfunny romantic-comedy. It’s a 96 minute snore-fest about sibling dynamics and coming out in a modern world.

Tom Cavanagh and Heather Graham star as the inseparable siblings, Sam and Gray who, with the prodding of their friends, try to grow individually by entering the world of dating. Unfortunately for the hapless protagonists, they both fall for the same woman, Charlie, played by Bridget Moynahan (next stop — incestuous, lesbian love affair — just kidding). While Sam dives headlong into the relationship, Gray wrestles with her urges and tries to accept her new lifestyle.

The writer/director, Sue Kramer, tries to recreate a real world environment but laces the movie with poor dialogue and situations that leave the illusion incomplete and non-functional. Among many other telling scenes is one where Gordy, played by Alan Cumming, brings Gray to a women-only gay bar. When the bouncer forcefully rejects him because of his gender, Gray suggests he put on a dress. So, a newly frocked and made up Gordy just waltzes in. I guess the clothes really do make the woman.

Heather Graham is developing into a seasoned character actress in the role of the hip, sexy business woman. This isn’t such a bad gig, she commands fairly large salaries per film, but she has the potential to be so much more. I hope that she starts taking some unfamiliar parts or just more parts in general so she can show her acting chops.

The same can be said about Cavanagh except his performance is less annoying because he seems to have accepted his role as a goofy sidekick. His permanent sunny disposition makes the scenes where his has to be angry a little funny but also a little pathetic.

Equally uninteresting were the performances from Bridget Moynahan, Molly Shannon, and Sissy Spacek. Their flat caricatures provide no help in revealing anything about the main characters, story or situation. They seemed like soundboards with lines that the writer thought were funny or clever but are probably in-jokes.

I would feel bad about criticizing a film that tried to advance the ideas of equality and understanding but in this case I don’t because this film does neither. This was a terrible movie that was lacking in all areas, save drunken, girlie kissing scenes. Against the backdrop of New York City, this movie could have played out in more thought provoking, funny or dramatic ways but lost its way. I wouldn’t recommend this movie to anyone except to film students as an example of when mundane movie ideas go bad.