"Qwerty lkjhj jsdhseeshx shhddu ssjdjdfhr sjd456%#$#."

Got it.

Someone on a call-in show had this to say supposed cultural aspect of this crime: "50 hoodlums congregating around a broken shack to watch animals rip each to shreds constitutes a culture?"

Any questions? Well?

Magellan quips, "Barry Bonds is demanding Red Bull testing..."

66 million people took in the New Yor....excuse me? 66 thousand? Oh. Well, that changes everything. Cough. It was a rather sophomoric albeit thrilling 5-4 Red Bulls victory over the LA Beckham's that kept the minds of many New Yorkers off Eli Manning's tif with Tiki Barber (I know my timing of the events is off. You get the picture) and Derek Jeter (who else?) for 90 + minutes a week ago. Personally, I would have the New York team checked for substance abuse - um, Red Bull is an "energy" drink, right?

They should also conduct a survey asking if those same - let's call them paying customers - remember where they were last week.

Lewis (but not Clark) says, "Well, Superman had to deal with kryptonite..."

The New York Yankees can't solve the LA Angels. I said...but don't listen to me - behold the stats: Since 2000 the Angels are 38-33 (.536) against the Yankees and since 2005 they hold a 18-11 (.621) edge. Not to mention anything about eliminating the Bronx Bombers in the League Divisional Series three games to one in 2002. Hey, the Angels even won the World Series that year.

The New York Yankees should be renamed the New York Blankees when they take on the Halo's.

Mr. Peabody's scientific experience says, "Women curlers are hotter in bed than tennis players..."

Gotta thank Glosslip on this one. The sultry celebrity seamstress recently posted a piece where some rock star from some rock band - Five Maroon's or something - disclosed that he felt he was misled into believing model-who-moonlights-as-a-tennis-player (don't all Russian tennis players start off as models?) Maria Sharapova was a screamer in bed.

How do you figure a conversation goes after a public comment like that?

Sharapova: "So, how was band practice?"

The other guy scratching his head, "Good. We suck."

Sharapova: "Yeah, I know."

TOG: "Look, I didn't mean..."

Sharapova: "Shh. I know. I'm cutting an onion."

TOG (quietly gulps):"B-but, that's a green banana..."

Sharapova (shifty eyes): "I'm practicing."

Pan to bloody, dry penis by copy of Blogcritics Magazine on lawn.

Anyway, everyone knows that curlers are sluts in bed.

Hurry? Harder? I mean, come on. Who you kidding?

Sherman's Corner: