Batting Around is BC Sports' look back at the week's happenings in the world o' sports, presented in a lineup card format for some undisclosed reason.

The Lineup Card

1. KR Eddie Drummond
2. D Gabriel Heinze
3. SS John McDonald
4. SP Micah Owings
5. SF Eddie Griffin
6. SG Stephon Marbury
7. DT Marques Slocum
8. CF Michael Rando
9. CL Jonathan Papelbon
Coach: John Elway

1. KR Eddie Drummond — Why do I have this feeling that after the Detroit Lions released their star return man, he'll land with another team and score a touchdown against Detroit this season?

2. D Gabriel Heinze — The former Manchester United defender signed a four-year deal with Real Madrid, as opposed to the fake Madrid. I have absolutely no idea if it's a good thing or bad thing, but this Rafael Benitez guy says it's a good thing, and I'm inclined to believe him, because he and Heinze share a lot of the same letters in their last names.

3. SS John McDonald — This guy's been making some rather sweet defensive plays this week, and all of Canada appears to be aflutter over their Jays' exciting shortstop. But maybe that's because his name is eerily similar to the country's first prime minister, John MacDonald. To be fair, America would have a torrid love affair with a Dallas Cowboys quarterback named George Washington.

4. SP Micah Owings — Yeah, he's good enough to hit cleanup. Over the weekend, the Arizona Diamondbacks starting pitcher went 4-for-5 with two home runs and six RBI in a win over the Atlanta Braves. But unlike Atlanta's slugger, Owings doesn't have two fans writing tribute songs in his honor.

5. SF Eddie Griffin — How does one go from a hilarious punch line to a tragic case? Dying after driving into a moving train, that's how. The troubled former Timberwolves forward was previously known for the "porn DUI." Way to ruin our fun, Eddie.