In personal news, I was very confused by the announcement of the 2007 MTV Video Music awards, since when does MTV have anything to do with music and/or music videos? After a small bit of research (the only one for this article, promise), I realized that MTV has been known to play videos which sometimes feature background music. Like once, during an episode of Made, they played that “Hey There Delilah” song. And then later, on an episode of My Super Sweet 16, they played that “Hey There Delilah” song. I get it now.

But all has not been well with the rest of the musical world! From flying cellphones to flagrant use of the N-word, the industry has been absolutely buzzing with tension. It’s the kind of thing that makes execs want to curl up around a big pile of money and pay someone to cry for them. So let’s bring all you little folks up to speed:

YouTube: That dastardly purveyor of videos about crazy pets and gnarly skate tricks has apparently been moonlighting in copyright violation, according to the NMPA. The NMPA (The MP stands for Music Publishers, decipher the rest yourself) is one of those groups that helps out music publishers and artists by vigilantly suing the shit out of people. I am also launching a lawsuit against YouTube for the grievous mental anguish I suffered watching that “Chocolate Rain” video.

Amy Winehouse: The sobriety-disinclined singer checked into the hospital with the announcement that she had suffered severe exhaustion. I imagine that diagnosis didn’t actually come from a doctor, since I think a doctor might have said something more like “Oh my god, It’s melting the stomach pump!” As is cursory in cases of exhaustion, Amy cancelled the rest of her tour. True to form, she’s still not going to rehab. Although given her recent actions, I’d say we’re just about due for a new song.
“They tried to make me do a concert…”

W32.Deletemusic: This is the greatest idea I’ve read about in a long time. As named, It’s a computer virus that destroys music files on infected computers. I’ve long held the idea that dumb people should not be allowed to listen to music, and this virus is an indirect execution of that idea. If people aren’t smart enough to protect themselves from a computer virus, or to keep some sort of backup for their music library (like some sort of compact disc perhaps), then they’ve earned a one-way trip to silence-town. But alas, as certain as I was that this would finally destroy Aly & AJ, the virus proved to be a dud and few computers actually became infected.