Well, that's another Pledge Drive down, and probably only 20 more to go before the end of the year. You laugh at that, I know, but you laugh in kind of an uneasy, he might actually be telling the truth sort of way. That's good, you're scared, I like that in a reader. I like to taste the fear in the eyes of those checking out this page. I like to know that you're shaking in your boots. Yes, yes, I'm joking, relax, check out PBS's listings for the week, they'll truly make you afraid.

Sunday, August 12:

8:00 - 9:00PM

Nature - “Holy Cow.” The story of the cow. How the cow has changed humanity, and how humanity has changed the cow. I hope they do something on the cud, I love hearing about cow cud, and how the cow chews its cud, and how the cud gets chewed by the cow.

9:00 - 10:00PM

Mystery! - “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: A Scandal in Bohemia”. It's Jeremy Brett as Holmes and David Burke as Watson as a mysterious masked nobleman asks for help. He, apparently, and allegedly, wants to save one of the royal houses of Europe. Yeah, that and $2 will get you on the subway.

10:00 - 11:00PM

Why Smart People Do Stupid Things With Money. Renowned tax attorney Bert Whitehead gives you - that's right, you - advice on how to secure your financial future. I've never heard of Bert Whitehead, but if my little synopsis tells me he's renowned I'll accept it and so should you.

Monday, August 13:

8:00 - 9:00PM

Antiques Roadshow - “Hot Springs (Hour Three).” Did you know Hot Springs was in Arkansas? I didn't. But apparently host Dan Elias does and he's going to partake in some of the town's trademark hydrotherapy. I'm not sure what that means, but can only assume that it does in fact have something to do with hot springs in Hot Springs, right?

9:00 – 10:00PM

History Detectives. This show may be the most fascinating show ever, it really may, but its title leave a lot to be desired. Now I'm just spitballing here, so this many not be quite what they're looking for, but if they want a ratings boost how about something like CSI: History or Law & Order: Old School.

10:00 - 11:00PM

The Standard of Perfection. I don't want to sound conceited or anything, but… done. I joke, relax, I joke, I'm as imperfect as they come. But Mark Lewis, director of The Natural History of the Chicken (seriously, that's not a joke) will be checking out show cats, their owners, and the judges at the Cat Fanciers' Association International Cat Show in this episode.