Ah, if only this were true and not satire, then I could climb on the ROmney bandwagon.

Dave

The truth is evangelicals would vote for Satan rather than a Mormon. The satire would have been complete if Al Sharpton was worked in there.

Does this mean that Romney will have to divorce his 4 extra wives?

I'd rather vote for a Satanist than a Mormon and I'm an atheist.

Dave

Right back at ya, Dave. And despite the the 30% of Americans who wouldn't vote for a Mormon, I'd still kick your atheist ass.

I think I'd like Romney better if he had 4 wives and was more open about being a Mormon. It is when ths stuff is hidden away that it becomes a problem.

Glad to see the satire actually opened people's mind to the ridiculous reality that is anti-mormonism.

I am LDS, and there is nothing wrong with it. What is so much about having plural marriage in the history of the church than supporting gay marriage?

If there was a gay candidate running would it be "gay" this and "gay" that? NO. The reason for that is respecting American freedoms, and yet somehow, this family-loving Christian Romney is not getting respect or tolerance.

so much worse, I meant to say.

What people do in the privacy of their own homes seems to only mean "if you're gay" so what is all the fuss about Mitt Romney's underwear?

If a Jew ran for office they would't "kippot" this and "kippot" that and "***'s headwearontheShabbat.com" it.

This is ridiculous.

Dave, after a prick of conscience, I'll ask your pardon for my rude, knee-jerk response. However, while I enjoy and generally agree with your commentary, it puzzles me that you have so much venom whenever Mormonism is brought up. Have we wronged you in some way?

Your comments are more puzzling because of your atheism. Generally, I find that atheists are equal-opportunity offenders of religion; your hostility to -- and general misunderstandings of -- Mormonism are something that I usually only see in rabid Evangelicals. Hardly the company you keep, I'm sure.

Linda,

Actually, I wasn't really motivated to write this piece to point out the ridiculousness of "anti-Mormonism." I was just tired of hearing Romney whining about people always asking him questions about being a Mormon.

Given that Mormonism is a religion that's somewhat out of the mainstream, and you're the very first Mormon to run for President, you should expect people to ask you questions about it.

And if you wear "magic underwear", you shouldn't be surprised if people have questions about your fashion sense.

"I get tired of people who are holier-than-thou, only because they've been worshipping Satan longer than I have."

best....fucking....line...of...the...WEEK!

i chuckled...

/golfclap

Excelsior?

A good example of why our education system is below other countries like Great Britain, Japan, Germany, New Zealand, and etc. We have enough satire on the news every night. News on 'Mormons' is an everyday thing now and it's more important for you to make better research. We have too much ignorance, bias and Mormon haters. I hope you're not one of those Evangelists who are attacking the Mormons to save their souls or they'll end up in hell. They are now the jury and judge even before the Judgment Day come to pass.

Chief,

"I hope you're not one of those Evangelists who are attacking the Mormons to save their souls or they'll end up in hell."

If that commment is directed at me, rest assured that it wasn't my intention to "attack" Mormons. I believe, personally, that Mormonism is a goofy religion, but not particularly goofier than any other religion.

it ain't a goofy as Scientology!

but i digress ...

Excelsior?

RE: I am LDS, and there is nothing wrong with it.

True.

RE: What is so much about having plural marriage in the history of the church than supporting gay marriage?

And also that little racism thing in the history of the church. Note, however, that I give LDS credit for dropping this bit more completely even as some evangelicals still embrace racist interpretations of their religion.

RE: If there was a gay candidate running would it be "gay" this and "gay" that? NO. The reason for that is respecting American freedoms, and yet somehow, this family-loving Christian Romney is not getting respect or tolerance.

One of America's greatest freedoms is the freedom to mock sanctimonious twits like Romney. His being a family-loving Christian does not make him in and of itself a more suitable candidate for the presidency than an atheist or, gasp, a satanist.

I think I'd like Romney better if he had 4 wives and was more open about being a Mormon. It is when ths stuff is hidden away that it becomes a problem."

What exactly is Romney hiding? He's hiding his rleigion because he doesn't want to discuss it for the 875th time?

That's bullshit.

What other candidate currently running is asked 276 questions a day by the shills for the left mainstream media about their religion? Don't you think they'd get pretty fucking tired of it too if it was happening to them? But it's not happening to them so that's the reason we're discussing Romney and not them.

There is absolutely no eveidence from Romney's time as governor of Massachusetts or anything else in his past that suggests Romney has any desire to subject non_mormon Americans to the tenets of Mormon theology if he were to become president. Yet there is no shortage of completely ignorant fuckwits on this website trying to portray him as some kind of fundamentalist theocrat.

You doubters are in for an extremely rude awakening as you are doubting the man who will ultimately be the next leader of this nation.

Mitt is going to eat the bitch alive come November 2008. Doubt me now. Fell the stinging barbs of my "I told you so's" come November 2008, because hey I'm just that type of guy. I always liek to rub it in when I've been proven right.

Doug #10,

"I was just tired of hearing Romney whining about people always asking him questions about being a Mormon."

-Wouldn't you be a little annoyed if you spent your life campaigning and trying to articulate your platform, but instead found yourself having to answer for your religious faith at every turn, including by radio jocks who ask you questions "off the record" while quietly videotaping you?

"Given that Mormonism is a religion that's somewhat out of the mainstream"

-No argument there, and I'm Mormon.

"and you're the very first Mormon to run for President, you should expect people to ask you questions about it."

-Um, Mitt Romney's father ran for president. Orrin Hatch had a half-hearted attempt in 2000. Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, ran before his murder in 1844. For someone expecting so many questions to be asked of Romney concerning Mormonism, you haven't paid much attention to the questions and answers that have been out in the media for the past 6 months, have you?

"And if you wear "magic underwear", you shouldn't be surprised if people have questions about your fashion sense."

-Please, I hardly find the juvenile references to Romney's underwear germane to the political debate, and this cheap shot isn't a very good argument.

I found your satire really amusing, and certainly Romney's dug himself into a hole with his sudden pandering to the Right. Pat Robertson certainly might prefer Romney the Satanist to Romney the Mormon. But after reading your justifications for it, now I think you're just being grouchy.

If you don't want to be asked questions about your religion every day the best strategy is to NOT join a loony cult like Mormonism.

I think it was all summed up brilliantly on Big Love this week, when Alby staged a takeover of his father's status of prophet by gazing deeply into the lining of his father's hat and pronouncing the self-serving revelations seen therein - shades of Joe Smith and his magical tablets.

All religions are to some degree cult-like, but few are as transparent about it as Mormonism.

Dave

Perkunas,

Grouchy? Me? I don't have a grouchy bone in my body. (Well, there is that one grouchy bone right next to my funny bone.)

You're right about George Romney. My bad. He got a really bad rap in 1967 after his infamous "brainwashing" comment, in which he saw the light and turned against the Vietnam war. He probably would have done better as a Democrat. I don't recall him getting much scrutiny about his Mormonism. I guess we live in different times.

I hardly find the juvenile references to Romney's underwear germane to the political debate...

Well, you're right of course. There is absolutely nothing germane about magic underwear. But, c'mon, just the mention of it is good for a giggle, don't you think?

RE: I hardly find the juvenile references to Romney's underwear germane to the political debate...

It could be worse. Romney could be a Scientologist.

RE: It could be worse. Romney could be a Scientologist.

Upon further review, Romney just might be a closet Scientologist. Apparently one of his favorite novels is "Battlefield Earth".

Any of you antis or atheists, as Dave, would be welcomed at any LDS worship service. There isn't even a donation plate passed, so it won't cost you anything--except you might learn something. We believe in the Golden Rule--treat others as you would like to be treated--ever heard of that?
Romney should just pass out Articles of Faith cards to all his questioners about what we believe--Here are a few of the 13 listed: #1 We believe in God the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. #11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may. # 13 We believe in being honest, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say we follow the admonition of Paul--We believe all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."
Have any of you detracters read any of the accomplishments of Romney? Have you ever talked rationally with a Mormon? Christ's own original church probably would have been called a "loony cult" by Dave and some of his buds, had they been living at that time. Romney's actions speak louder than his words. He has a record for turning losers around, and being very considerate of people--just what we need.

Hey bloggers,
I forgot to mention--if you should happen to accept my invitation to attend any of our meetings at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--it might interest you to know that the pastor, minister, or Bishop, as we call him receives no pay for all the time and effort he puts in. Not even the organist or any of the teachers. They accept the responsibility as an honor to serve.

Hi Jack,

I'm not sure how much response you'll get to your post, just because this thread has been inactive for awhile. But while I've got you on the line, I'd be really interested in your response to a video I posted on my blog recently. It's an animated version of what Mormons believe.

If you have time, maybe you could look at it and tell me if it's an accurate depiction of your faith, and if not, how would you correct it?

Christ's own original church probably would have been called a "loony cult" by Dave and some of his buds, had they been living at that time.

I'm pretty confident that Dave and like-minded thinkers would still call Christ's original church, were it to emerge today, a loony cult.

Any of you antis or atheists, as Dave, would be welcomed at any LDS worship service.

Thanks, Jack, but all the people I know who've attended one of the LDSs' "regular" services (the ones where outsiders are allowed) still think you're all freaks.

I had some friends who did a tour of the giant Mormon temple in DC right after it was built. After the tour was over the rugs were all taken out and burnt because the presence of non-believers had defiled them.

I wouldn't want to be part of any church which thought that the mere presence of unbelievers defiled their church.

And yes, I think Jesus' original followers were probably not just a cult, but borderline terrorists. I'd have been rooting for the Romans.

And Alec, from what I can tell, Mormonism as generally practiced and Scientology aren't all that far apart in terms of the behavior they encourage in their followers, though they come at it from different philosophical directions.

But remember, all you Mormons out there, I may think you're a cult, but I firmly support your right to enjoy multiple marriage legally.

Dave

Scientology having been wholly created in the fevered mind of a hack SF writer, I would question whether it comes from any "philosophical" direction.

I read somewhere (and I've no idea if this is really true) that L Ron Hubbard came up with Scientology_TM after he bet someone that he could invent a religion and get people to take it seriously.

I'm guessing he won.

I've heard the same story, Doc.

Don't know whether or not it's apocryphal...

Does this mean that Romneys sons are going to enlist for Iraq duty.

No, it's true. It's confirmed by multiple witnesses and the other religion also exists. The story is that it was a bet between Hubbard and Robert Heinlein. Hubbard, whose father was a disciple of Aleister Crowley, borrowed a lot of the basic ideas for Scientology from Crowley's amoral totally amoral philosophy.

For details see this archived Usenet post which catalogs the sources which corroborate the basics of the story.

Dave

L. Ron Hubbard cynically created scientology to prove that people would believe anything. The meter he 'invented' was one example of various virtual gadgets that were then discussed.

I know because I witnessed it all played out in the pages of Fantasy and Science Fiction magazines that were popular in the 1950s.

It never ceases to amaze me that people still believe this crap. No doubt scientology will ascend to supreme religious status in a thousand years and Hubbard will be proclaimed to have arisen from his grave.

After all, there's precedent for it.

Hi Doug,
We watched your blog video. It's too hard to sift through the chaff to find the wheat. Have you ever considered accepting the challenge at the end of the Book of Mormon and pray about it to know if it is true? Have you ever taken the time to even read the book for yourself, instead of the "Cliff notes? by those with a vested interest (their livelihoods) who want to disprove it? Read it point by point with your video; find out how much is accurate and how much is not.
Good hunting!
Some points are accurate and some are twisted and not right. You can make any church, or the Bible itself, look bad if you put some effort into it.
You imply that we are solely attached to the Book of Mormon. We accept it as a second witness, along with the Bible, that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God. Joseph Smith was a prophet, as was Moses, and others who spoke for God. He was not superior to Jesus and we don't worship Joseph Smith.

Jack,

Some points are accurate and some are twisted and not right. You can make any church, or the Bible itself, look bad if you put some effort into it.

Thanks for watching the video. I'd really be interested to know which parts you think are "twisted."

Have you ever considered accepting the challenge at the end of the Book of Mormon and pray about it to know if it is true?

Well, no, and I'd say that's not in the cards, so if you could sort the "wheat from the chaff" a bit, that would be instructive for me.

"Some points are accurate and some are twisted and not right. You can make any church, or the Bible itself, look bad if you put some effort into it."

Actually, it really takes no effort at all, with ANY church.

More like shooting fish in a barrel.

Hi Doug,
If you are not willing to read the book, I am not willing to contact you any more.

Hi Jack,

If you are not willing to read the book, I am not willing to contact you any more.

Well, gee, Jack, that's not very friendly. I would read the book, but I'm just too darn busy right now actually living my life. I just thought you could give me a quick primer, but it appears that you're not able and/or willing to stand up for your faith. What would your bishop say?

Besides, I'm more into non-fiction books...

Check out Like Mormonism, the blog isn't what it seems.

(Funny photos too!)