Every once in a while - like a persistent guilty pleasure - I feel the need to be overwhelmed by masculinity and testosterone. In this blockbuster-filled summer, between sequels, small romances, and meaningful art pictures, I was hard put to find that man-sweat I’d been longing for. Lanky or beefy, it didn’t matter. All I wanted was to see some guy saving the world from mega-disaster and tossing off memorable macho movie lines. Maybe it has something to do with being peri-menopausal, but dang! I love seeing men do manly stuff. So, “jonesing for sweat,” I finally went to see Live Free of Die Hard. 

I was pleasantly surprised. More magical than the present Harry Potter film and funnier than any comedy in the theaters, this was hands-down the most fun I’ve had at the movies in a while. Action films are pretty hard to do and they become downright unbelievable or cliched. That said, this film actually works. We see such wondrous feats of supernatural prowess that we cannot help but sit back in joyous befuddlement. Not only does John McClain (Bruce Willis) defy the laws of physics by outrunning and explosions, he is immune to pain, and can almost - just almost - fly! He is also darn funny. Justin Long, who plays his young slacker charge, is equally lucky and equally funny, and equally macho. Oh testosterone! I missed you.

Of course few films are perfect. And Live Free or Die Hard is no exception. In this case, the problem is the villain. I’ve always considered the Die Hard films to be studies in male solipsism and obsession. The typical villain in a Die Hard movie is not only detached, but at the same time passionately focused. They also tend to be funny in a dead-pan, sophisticated kind of way. Who could forget the coldly humorous first villain, played by Alan Rickman? Or the damaged, world-weary, and cynical Jeremy Irons baddie? These guys tend to have issues, and they know how to tell the difference between a dessert fork and a salad fork.

Here, the villain just doesn’t make the grade. First of all, he’s home-grown. American corn-fed. The bad guy here is a really an extreme good guy — someone out to make America safe from evil terrorists, to prove to his bosses they shouldn’t have fired him, and to get a huge hunk of cash in the bargain. All American preoccupations, of course. We don’t get this guy’s political affiliation but if we know how Hollywood stereotypes well, we can pretty much assume he’s a conservative Republican. (I’m surprised they didn’t go so far as to make him a conservative Christian.) Of course most folks who get fired from governmental jobs don’t have the software know-how to actually put such an ingenious plot into action. And an ingenious plan it is — create major chaos by playing around with the software that runs the institutions in our society.