If I Was Ill, The Last Place I'd Want To Be Is On Larry King Live
Published July 20, 2007
I'm sure much of America sat down and watched as Tammy Faye Messner went on Larry King Live discussing her lung cancer illness. The prognosis is death, but like so many in her case, she has decided to be a shining beacon of hope for those who suffer from the same illness.
Then, I saw her in the flesh.
To be blunt, none of it was attached to her face. I was terrified because I felt that at any moment, with excitable glee by CNN bosses at the ratings, her skin would simply melt off and leave her, literally, a talking skeleton.
If I were Larry King, given the fact that there is a faction of news watchers who hate him, I would pull a Ted Koppel or Ed Murrow and say that I don't wanna do this. With the money King makes, I wouldn't care if I was forced out of the industry. I'd chill in the background and fade into a peaceful non-active existence.
But not being King, I can't make that decision. Perhaps out of the millions of viewers who see his program every night, one of them should have called the network. I'm sure it wouldn't have stopped the interview from airing, or even give King a moment to pause at how disgustingly Maury Povich it was, but it would have meant people give a damn about something other than Paris freaking Hilton.
I was originally going to do a documentary on my caretaking trials looking after my father who has Lupus. The first question any artist should ask himself is whether someone really wants to see someone else at the lowpoint in their lives. If you were of the movie nerd/film school division and merely believed in telling a good story, probably yes. But in this instance, I agree with those who believe in telling all stories with a sunny side up — I don't wanna see that.
The biggest issue I have with Messner going on television in her current state is that the focus isn't going to be on her lung cancer, but her face. It's like taking someone out of the freak show for a brief public viewing and then sticking that person back into the cage until the next show comes along. Perhaps someone should go and make a note to interview Larry King when he takes his final breaths complete with some somber music and maybe even Anderson Cooper at the wheel as host.
It is a frightening culture we live in when people do that.
But then again, I probably don't understand that this is television news. They will do what they can do to get ratings and forget the common sense and dignity that should occur to journalists in the media who see a woman like this, solely in order to be in the history books. Who knows, perhaps it's a good thing.
But let me turn to those who have probably seen this interview or have someone who is suffering from lung cancer and is somewhere around the stage that Tammy is: would you let someone you know go on television and be interviewed if the person was that ill?
- If I Was Ill, The Last Place I'd Want To Be Is On Larry King Live
- Published: July 20, 2007
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Video
- Filed Under: Culture: Media, Video: News, Video: Talk Show, Video: Television
- Writer: Matthew Milam
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Comments
I found the interview humanizing & compelling. I had seen
Tammy Faye in the KING interview before this and she seemed genuinely scared. She seemed at peace this time.
I think it's important for people to see what dying actually looks like- there is a stigma to it. As a gay man who survived the AIDS crisis I saw dmy dying friends either go tto a higher place or
drown in bitterness & fear. I think Tammy Faye showed people how t do the former . My heart went out to her and I was genuinely proud of her.
Visuals always make a greater impact than words alone. I just buried my brother who battled pancreatice cancer for a year. He went from a handsome, athletic, kind man to a gray, walking skeleton. He never missed a day of work until the final week he was alive. He met with clients daily. He dragged himself to his children's ballgames several nights a week. He continued going to church,club meetings, and social events. He never hide his slow decline and was never embarrassed of his apperance. There were over 600 people at his funeral.
I think this was an eye opener. People need to see what lung cancer can do to the body. My heart goes out to Tammy Messner. I feel that a lot of people needs to watch this and then maybe or maybe not, they would stop smoking and realize what they are doing not only to their lungs but also to their loved ones lungs. I am not sure if Tammy ever smoked, but I am thinking that she did, but bless her little heart she does not deserve this. Our prayers and blessings are with her.
We in the USA have been too protective of our own tender aesthetic feelings to allow ourselves to be frank about death and dying, and about the consequences of the aberrant behaviours we advertise on TV, such as smoking, overeating, war, etc.
Tammy is holding on to God's unchanging hand. She is very brave and her willingness to appear is commendable.
Godspeed.
"The first question any artist should ask himself is whether someone really wants to see someone else at the lowpoint in their lives"
YES. Those who can force themselves to go out in public and take the expected humility for something that is (let's say) not their fault provide a service to let others know what the face of cancer (or whatever) looks like.
This image will not quickly be forgotten by many, even those unaffected or without much of a chance of cancer.
you may have anticipated this next point, but I'll say it anyway - she dedicated her life to God and this is the thaks she gets? I read something like the above comment "Tammy is holding on to God's unchanging hand."
Tamme Faye was a tight-ass (with ass spread) for a great deal of her life; pious to the max and getting rich off the poor and hopeful. But she did change, got a sense of humor even and realized she was not a better person MERELY because of her belief.
It's too easy to rip on religion as something completely illogical. it's a part of humanity. But this idea that God is making examples out of molested children or cancer victims or rape victims or walking AIDS corpses or being a pigheaded narrow-minded ass or maimed by bombs while eating dinner (or pick your disease / circumstance ) so that they can be stronger and help others is completely off-the-charts wrong.
Did God make Catholic priests more prone to being child molesters as a test of faith? Or was it just the man-made social construct of abstinence that made idiots of true believers.
I believe that if you do go good (and not this more good than harm bull) in the name of your religion, then you are a true believer and worthy of your God. If you do good in the name of no-religion you are a better person for it, period. The world is energy and there is + and - .
-Temple
It was shocking. It was her decision. If you are dying are you now allowed to make your own decisions? Would you "allow" someone you know?
Allow?
Larry King took great pains to tell the audience that "she reached out to us." It was as if he wanted to make sure that everyone knew that it wasn't his idea.
If that was true, then what was CNN supposed to do when she made her request? Should they have told her, "Sorry, we'd like to let you come on the show, but you look too scary and might upset people?"
Personally, I think she just wanted to say goodbye to her fans and I thought she handled herself with dignity and even humor.
She doesn't have lung cancer, she has colon cancer, and if God is punishing her for being a wacko for most of her unbalanced, un- god like life so be it. It has nothing to do with "dying with dignity", and I am tired of hearing gay men proselytize about their empathy and comparing themselves to the victims of colon cancer.promiscuous sex has nothing to do with it, and neither does God. Life happens. get over it
If someone I loved were that ill and wanted to be on television, I would be totally supportive. I have cancer, and it seems it would be part of the healing process, or the process to come to peace with the illness. She wanted to reach out to others suffering, and that has always brought her peace.
I think its unfortunate that people are so quick to judge. We are all human and for a disease like cancer to leave a person looking like that is unfair and tragic. If Tammy Faye had any wrong doing in her past she would have been legally charged, and she is in Gods hands now. He is the one to judge her. If she chose to be on the Larry King show that was her choice. We as the viewers could have quickly changed the channel. Thats why there are remotes. And for people to say that Larry King should have told her no, your too scary looking, is wrong. There is no doubt in my mind she knew what she looked like. Where is the humanity and feelings of some people? My mother died of cancer and weighed 65 pounds and I never saw her as horrible or say she looked like her skin was going to fall off! May God forgive all those remarks people say without really thinking and may something like this never happen to close to home.
I think what tammy faye did was her own choice
im sure it brought some kind of closure to her
life .And she does not have lung cancer she has
colon cancer that spread to her lungs.Seeing her was shocking but that is life.
Dead she is now. She was ill, and Larry King Live was the place she was to be. I wonder (but not really) if Jimbo will have anything good to say about her - he's still a !@#$% evangelist, and suckers forgave him because, because, because, well eff if I know.
Cathi: And for people to say that Larry King should have told her no, your too scary looking, is wrong.
Cathi, I think you missed my point, which was that, of course, CNN (Larry King) couldn't say that to her. I was defending her right to be on the show.
My husband died w/cancer 7 1/2 yrs. ago, to this day the only kinda good thing I can say about this cancer thing is,,,we had 5 mons. before God took him home, for Jerry to get a closer relationship w/Jesus, to get things in order for his family and say goodbye. Oh yea'll, HIS past was not without faults either, nor is mine, you or yours BUT we will all leave this world one day. In reference to "looking scarey", when you know your time is near, EVERY day when you wake up, EVERTHING is beautiful!! I hope and pray that someday folks w/RELIGION will fall from that walk and start walking w/Jesus. By the way, Tammy Faye is probably saying thanks to all of you that are speaking negative about her, because, if we really are christians and nobody is talking bad about us then we are doing something wrong, RIGHT. For all you angered and bitter people don't forget, there is the eternal home in Heaven and the eternal home in HELL and we can choose which route our spirits will take when our time to go HOME comes!!!
TAMMY DID WHAT SHE WANTED TO DO. SHE WAS BRAVE. SHE SAID GOOD-BYE THE WAY SHE WANTED TO. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT SHE LEFT US MANY MESSAGES FROM HER LAST APPEARANCE ON LARRY KING. YOU JUST NEED TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES. STOW,OHIO
Tari, why do you think God gave your husband cancer? I'm curious as to your thought process. And I'm not setting you up to disparage anything you say. I acknowledge people's rights to believe anything they want when it comes to the afterlife, because it's all a great unknown. My basic, simple question is valid and goes to the heart of belief, as does my comment above.
Can you just say "God works in mysterious ways" and be happy with the hell on earth that people - many completely innocent people - go through?
Temple
My Goodness!
Whats all the fuss? The woman needed to free herself of what ever made her feel good at this time in her life. She is in pain and needed some sort of release. Let her rest in Peace. Give her some digniity.
I believe the reason that Larry King did the interview was becasue Tammy Faye knew that she was going to die and she wanted to try to reach as many people as she could before her death. She was using her last chance or last wish to try to let people know that even in the darkest of cirumstances that we need to not give up and keep going. Sure it was extremely difficult to look at, but there is alot of ugliness in the world. It would've been cruel to not give Tammy Faye the ability to reach the many people that she did to try to give their lives to Christ. She will be remembered as an image of what true strength is, not thinking of yourself but others instead!
People Tammy didn't have Lung Cancer she had colon cancer with mets to the lung. So many people just don't get it. Think of cancer like animals at a zoo. Lets call colon cancer a Lion, lets call lung cancer a zebra. When the lion(colon cancer) gets out of its cage and goes to the zebra cage(Lung cancer) it is still a lion but in the zebra cage. Just because it went to the zebra cage(Lung cancer) it doesn't make it a zebra(Lung cancer) it is still a lion(colon cancer) in the zebra cage. This really needs to be understood.
It took a lot of courage to set there with a smile and try to project what she used to look like. My mom died from breast cancer and with in months she went from healthy to skin and bones. I wasn't prepared to see her like this and it was the strength she had raised me with that kept me from hitting the floor when I seen her. Tammy is at peace now and in no pain and I know God welcomed her with open arms.
Hot Off The Presses: Formerly known as Tammy Faye Bakker, the showboating televangelist who aided her husband, Jim Bakker, in hoodwinking millions of people out of millions of dollars, passed on peacefully this past Friday and quickly passed through the pearly gates of heaven to meet her Lord and savior. She promptly called for hair, make-up and wardrobe upon realizing she had been restored to a former face and body last seen in 1985. Let's face it, even the Lord must have His limits even if Larry King doesn't! Noticing that heaven wasn't as pretty as she had pictured it from below, Tammy Faye also called for a complete gold plated restoration of the pearly gates, 13 black velvet wall hangings, featuring miracles the Lord had performed during His time on Earth and all subtly lit from above with starbursts of Christmas tree lights. These would now adorn the walls of the silver lining cloud corridor she had heard so much about and lead members to a back-lit bleeding heart cross hanging at the end of that corridor depicting the suffering Lord speaking to the statue of a woman below who bore a strange resemblance to heaven's newest member. Tammy Faye next summoned Michelangelo Buonarotti from his daily afternoon slumber and ordered him to give the statue some color. Her preferences were duly noted as being Poppy Pink, Tartly Tangerine and Lemony Lime... or as she defined it; a double dose of P.T.L.!
I think it's time to curl up in bed, turn down the lights and watch The Picture of Dorian Gray...Hmmm, then again, maybe not!
You have to give her credit. She knew the time was near and wanted to say her goodbyes. We are not to judge others. I for one never watched her much ,but it touched me to see her on the show. If it saved just one person then don't you think it was worth it? I for one sure do.
Thank you Chris B! Everyone seems to have lost their collective nut on this one and wants Tammy to go into the light. Sorry, Heaven is for people who DID SOME GOOD in this world, and not a weeping willow who personally made Max Factor rich.She's not going to heaven people. she was a mean spirited, crass individual who helped bilk money out of the most desperate and needy people who wanted to believe in something precious,special,and meaningful. I'm sorry, but God has special place for people like her, And its a sure bet that Ken Lay will be there to help light her way. Are we wrong to believe this? I Quote.."Vengeance is mine sayeth the lord", and of course my favorite..Mat 7:15 "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."
CHRIS B.
YOU ARE OF COURSE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION. HOWEVER REMEMBER IF A PERSON IS TRULY SORRY THEN GOD IS FORGIVING. HE SEES EVERYTHING FROM YOU AS MUCH AS HE DID TAMMY. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION.
Since I'm soon going to post an essay about Hollywood (and America's) plastic surgery obsession, I would like to suggest that while she does look pretty awful, we as viewers have become unused to seeing "real" people on television. Yes, she looks bad, but that's what older people with cancer look like. Our reactions of disgust remind me of the woman in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World who visits an Indian reservation, sees an old person for the first time, and nearly passes out. So many people have been cleaned up for the cameras that we're really shocked by wrinkles, age, and sickness. Perhaps that is a problem as well.
oh Good grief,
does everyone who posts a response here have a book coming out that they have to plug? Good for you and your essay, however the postings were about the lady specifically and not a discourse on the "evils" of plastic surgery. Frankly, I doubt there was enough plastic in the world to make her look real even when she was healthy. Tammy was to tears as Shaq is to sweat. apparently all you had to do was look at them amd their glands began excreting. do you have an essay about that?
As someone who has been in a battle with colon cancer for quite some time and is now in remission (I pray they are right, they have been wrong before) I Know at any time it can rear its ugly head almost anywhere, lungs, liver, original site, etc. It is so tempting to just give up and throw yourself a 24/7 pity party, but it doesn't change anything. For you who are throwing barbs at Tammy, most of you have never had to deal with anything like she has had and if you had seen that in your family or yourself maybe you wouldn't be so quick to poke jabs at her. She only did what she had always done. She knew she was the butt of jokes, but bless her heart she put on her face and went out there anyway. Don't you think she suffered enough? I firmly believe she is with our Lord and Savior and I hope to meet her there someday. Oh, by the way, colon cancer kills way more women than breast cancer. It took them 3 years and several colonoscopies to finally say yep it's cancer all right. This after pain that was almost unbearable and a mass so large I could barely go anymore, bleeding, nausea, and begging someone just to please find out what was wrong. When I finally found a doctor to biopsy that mass instead of looking for polyps, it showed what I had known and told them all along. After radiation and chemo and supposedly the cure, it was right back in less than a year. This time I had surgery and had a colostomy. Think life's a hoot, try it with a bag on your side, also with your rectum removed and sewn together. A fine place for painful scar tissue to form, in essence prohibiting you from sitting over a few minutes at a time. So it is hard to know what her life was like unless you've been there. I would ask that you all have regular check-ups and if you feel something is wrong, don't give up. It may make the difference between life and death. Godspeed, Tammy Fay. You made a difference.
In that case Mary, I truly do hope that Tammy Faye is sorry for all she did. I agree that God sees all and through His Son, Jesus Christ, forgives all. It certainly does not matter who one was in life. Only He knows what lies within us and forgives even when we cannot forgive ourselves. I have not cast a stone toward her, not in life and certainly not in death. In this case my blog takes a look at the humerous aspects of Tammy Faye as a character, and she was that. I am in no position to judge her nor do I wish to. I leave that to a much higher being.
As to the interview with Larry King, I must say that his willingness to do so was, at the very least, a double edged sword. Mr. King has interviewed many controversial people on any number of subject matter that might also be considered controversial given time frame, impact and other deciding factors. To consider a thing tasteless, one does not necessarily have to disagree with its value as a newsworthy or noteworthy and humanitarian message. Tammy Faye had her reasons to give this interview and Larry King had his for taking part in it. While few of us actually get to witness the long or short road to someone's death and the toll it takes on one's mind and body along the way, I'm not certain the Tammy Faye piece had any value other than shock. When I referred to the great 1945 film starring Hurd Hatfield, George Sanders and a very young Angela Lansbury, "The Picture of Dorian Gray," it was only to illustrate what Tammy Faye had become, in a visual sense, compared to what she once was. If you've never seen the film before I highly recommend it.
I neglected to mention in my earlier note that my colon cancer came with absolutely no risk factors, no family history of colon or for that matter no close relative with cancer at all. I was 49 when diagnosed and it had been there 2-3 years. I had a hysterectomy years earlier and was told that I didn't really need pap smears any longer. Had I had those most likely my ob-gyn would have noticed it earlier. It is extremely important for ladies to have their mammograms but please don't forget to schedule a colonoscopy. They are not nearly as uncomfortable as most people think. I stayed awake for several of them. That was a little uncomfortable but I wanted to see what it looked like and I am glad I did. I will get off my soap box and I apologize if I have offended anyone.That is not my intention. May God bless you all.
I think Tammy wanted to say goodbye to people that loved her....It seemed to make her happy...what's so wrong with that...May she Rest In Peace...With Our LORD JESUS CHRIST





Good piece, Matthew.