Without specs listed anywhere either on the web or the manual, the best guess is that the CD drive is a dual speed drive, something PC users will remember being a huge deal about 17 years ago. To load and enter the first fight in the included X-Men game, total wait time is around seven minutes on a good day. No kid is going to wait that long, especially after they learn how atrocious the game is.

The hardwired video cable is composite only, and it’s a strange choice given the chance of ripping it out and not being able to replace it. A USB port sits on the back unused, and the shoddy, cheap plastic controllers are beyond clunky. They resemble a PlayStation controller design (even copying the four shoulder buttons) gone horribly wrong. The d-pad is more like an analog stick, even though it’s purely digital input. Only one is included in the box, and there are two ports total.

Power wise, the hardware sits somewhere between the Super Nintendo and PlayStation era. It can cleanly handle 2-D sprites with significant depth of color. Backgrounds are almost universally static, and animation barely noticeable on the characters. If the console has 3-D capabilities (and it’s doubtful) none of the four available games have used it. Audio runs off the CD, so music is cheap but clean.

Other strange effects with this hardware continue to reduce the redeeming value a consumer would be desperately searching for after dropping $70 for this junk. When the scanning process begins and the system waits for a card, this actually interferes horribly with the TV. It causes wavy lines and distortion, something the FCC apparently missed during the approval process.

A secondary issue is scanning the cards themselves. It’s entirely random if the system notices the card being swiped over the target area. While a few swipes are a mild annoyance when trying to continue a game or load a new character, in the midst of a game when you need a special power, it’s a disaster. Also, who had the brilliant idea to include a T-rated game inside a game console that is clearly marked for kids under 12?

If there was any success for the HyperScan, it’s not hard to see powered-up cards being sold on eBay for ridiculous amounts of money (assuming anyone cared enough to play the thing). That collector’s mentality was the basis for the product, yet corporate greed squashed this hardware’s chance to survive. If you’re tired of micro transactions on places like Xbox Live, imagine paying $15 for an expansion, with no guarantee that you’ll be getting new content (doubles are indeed possible inside the packs), or even what you’re interested in. That’s the most absurd concept in history of the industry.