Then, he starts sexing her up, right there in the yard. They run through all of the sheets (just like in the opening credits) and start getting naked. Now, I don’t like to see any Bill Paxton nakedness if I can avoid it, but this scene is cute and it’s one of the few times that I’ve bought that these two love each other. Nicki wraps herself in one of the sheets and asks Bill, “Do you think a man should have to love a woman to marry her?” He says yes, and the other way around. Then, as tinkly music plays, he lifts her and lowers her to the ground, singing about pleasing Jesus, which is weird, but since it’s Nicki he’s dealing with, makes sense.

Alby sleeps next to one of his wives, when Roman and his henchmen bust in. The wife leaves and Roman tells one of his men to pull out a suit for Alby. He will go to Meeker and admit that he drank the antifreeze himself, in a desperate plea for attention, and that Wanda and Joey were just his scapegoats. He will do this before the vote tomorrow, or else. Alby argues that they’ll try and kill him again, but Roman says that by rejecting his holy authority, Alby is threatening his own legacy, his wives, his property and his eternal salvation. “Capitulate now,” says Roman.

Sister Wife Central. Barb walks in to Margie’s, carrying some blue and yellow paint. She stops short when she sees Ben standing in the living room, shirtless, and Margie on her knees in front of him. Of course, Margie is only measuring his waist for a sweater that she’s making for Bill and they’re practicing Ben’s Spanish, but Barb still orders him to go put a shirt on. Barb tells Margie that Sarah saw her and Ben up at midnight. Margie obviously is confused by this and says, “No way.” Barb says then one of them is lying and that her and Margie are going shopping. “What did I do?” Margie calls after her.

Juniper Creek. Margie has called Bill in a panic, knowing that a shopping trip is not good. She says she doesn’t know what she did and when he mouths “shopping trip” to Nicki, she demands the phone. She asks what Barb thinks Margie did, and Margie hilariously says that Barb is blaming her for Ben getting a C in Spanish. Hee. Nicki says it must be something else, but Margie has no idea what she did. Nicki says the shopping trips are horrible and tells Margie to use the “it’s difficult being third wife” line. Margie begs them to come home, but Nicki just tells her to not back down.