REVIEW

TV Review: Painkiller Jane - "Portraits of Lauren Gray"

Written by Temple Stark
Published June 27, 2007
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When she saw from the catwalk that her kisses don't age Jane, Ms. Norton realized she had her very own fountain of youth. Or as she describes it later, "You're a beautiful flower that doesn't die." Ah, that would be so sweet if Jane wasn't handcuffed to a bed when she says it.

Ms. Norton, who we see with wrinkles on her neck, gives a sharp peck, but vanity quickly triumphs over self-control and Jane gets the full liplock treatment, except it's still quite a tender kiss. This lesbian angle is what a lot of Kristanna Loken (an openly bisexual actor) fans wanted to see as it's part of the original comic book. Previews for the next episode show Jane kissing Connor, which hopefully and most likely is taken completely out of context because ewwww, we don't want the show to go in that direction and she can do better.

Wanda reveals that every time she kills a model she gets one of their quirks or compulsions, like smoking or candy. It happened with Amanda, she says, and now she gets migraines. When Jane finds out Amanda's dead she reflexively crushes a glass. And the cut in her hand does not heal - until she wills it so later.

After Wanda leaves, and with every sinew and tendon tearing, Jane rips her hand backward to get out of the cuffs. Tremblingly she reaches out for her keys — and Wanda comes back in and smacks her hand down. Ouch.

The scene jumps briefly to Arlene talking about how Wanda is dating someone 30 years older than her. We jump back to Wanda's penthouse (office?) at 231 W. 71st Street to see an aged Painkiller Jane, long blonde hair surrounding a hag face — we're talking 80 years old plus. She looks depressed — and very much like Jane Curtin, to be honest. Has her self-healing ability suddenly failed her at exactly the wrong moment?

Nope, it's one of those experiments where Jane has willed her body not to heal. Wanda realizes Jane's useless, throws a towel over her head regretfully and leads her outside to presumably leave her for dead somwhere.

In the elevator, to save production money on make-up, Jane reverses the aging while hidden behind the towel and Horton hears a what? Jigga who? Jane decks her and Wanda dies in Strikeforce Vicodin HQ after suddenly being hit with all the stab, shoot, fall, and being crushed "quirks" Jane's been through.

Awesome.

Next episode, "Ghost In The Machine" 10 p.m. Friday, Sci-fi Channel.

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TV Review: Painkiller Jane - "Portraits of Lauren Gray"
Published: June 27, 2007
Type: Review
Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Action, Video: SF, Video: TV Recap, Video: Television
Part of a feature: Painkiller Jane
Writer: Temple Stark
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