An upcoming eight-game suspension would be reduced to six with good behavior? That doesn't sound too ... whoops, I guess it's eight after all.

Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson was stopped Friday morning — 3:30 a.m.? Dude, that's Thursday night to the rest of us — for driving 40 in a 25, and the officer believed Johnson was under some kind of fermented influence. Even if he's not charged with a DUI, he can probably plan on serving his full eight-game suspension, which was handed down by the league for violating his probation on gun charges.

Before the suspension was laid down and after his release from prison on said gun charges, Tank Johnson made it clear that he wants to eventually become a poster boy for all football athletes who make stupid decisions yet recover. "One day I want to be the face of the league for guys who have come through adversity and ultimately become the Man of the Year in the NFL." I suppose he's not getting a running start toward that goal, but rather the Fred Flintstone start in which you move backwards a little before taking off full speed ahead, past the edge of the Hanna-Barbera animation cel.

As a sports fan, you almost yearn to see talented guys like Tank Johnson turn his life around and fix his personal flaws, much like footwork or technique on the line of scrimmage. But it's tricky. You can work on your three-point stance for hours on end, but to slay inner demons, you just have to sit around and not have cops approach you with questions.

Fortunately, he has the time to sit around and stay out of trouble. Eight weeks, actually.