A Helping Hand: Inappropriately Dressed Co-Worker
Published June 19, 2007
Why do some women dress in an unprofessional way at work and then get mad when men stare?
Why do some men see an inappropriately dressed woman and think this frees them (some men) of their professional responsibility to behave appropriately?
Some women, too, make rather harsh judgments of their co-workers' style of dress, but it's not often that women do or say anything above the radar. While a man's stare or blatant comment is out there for all to see or hear, a woman's whispered judgment or knowing glance to another co-worker is much harder to detect. For the record, the woman's actions are just as inappropriate as gawking or a crude remark.
If anyone in the workplace is inappropriately dressed, a higher-up will eventually have something to say about that person's lack of professionalism. In the meantime (or if the higher-up doesn't take notice), you have the option of reporting your co-worker for dressing inappropriately (an understandable distraction - sexual harassment laws work for both genders) or ignoring it. You also have the option of putting yourself in the position of getting your own quality time with the boss by doing or saying something inappropriate in reaction to the inappropriately dressed co-worker.
No one is responsible for the way someone else chooses to behave or react - even with regard to a scantily clad co-worker. If one has no more control over oneself than that, then perhaps it's time for one to consider a job that requires little or no human interaction.
Diana (nee Gulick) Hartman is the Culture and Tastes Editor for Blogcritics.org. She is a freelance writer, mother of three, and a (Ret.) US Marine spouse. She is a Wichita, Kansas native, having also lived in the California desert, eastern North Carolina and Stuttgart, Germany. She currently resides in Oceanside, California. She is a contributing writer to Holiday Writes.
- A Helping Hand: Inappropriately Dressed Co-Worker
- Published: June 19, 2007
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Business and Economics, Culture: Society
- Part of a feature: A Helping Hand
- Writer: Diana Hartman
- Diana Hartman's BC Writer page
- Diana Hartman's personal site
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There is yet another option. Say something to an inappropriately dressed coworker. In conversation bring up the subject of appropriate attire very generally and listen to their response. Speak nonjudgmentally since no matter how someone is dressed they shouldn't be succumbed to judgment. If you work in a communications department redistribute the company dress code. By saying nothing at all while being offended or judgmental is living untrue to yourself and contributing to an uncomfortable work environment. If the person in question refuses to get the hint, you will know that you have been honest to yourself and others.
Very good piece.
Be well and enjoy the day.
Men can (and should) hold their tongues, but they simply cannot avert their eyes. That's, like, Rule #1 in the Book of Men.
When a young, attractive female dresses inappropriately (say, exposing vast amounts of cleavage) in the workplace, her male co-workers will look. (Assuming they are heterosexual, of course.)
That does not mean they are a bunch of perverts. Heck, even elderly, happily-married, and completely impotent men will look at what is shown. It's an inborn behavior, much like breathing.
And if a slut female co-worker is freely showing her goodies in the workplace, management needs to step in before there is trouble. Rule #2 in the Book of Men states that men will fight amongst each other for the attentions of attractive women. And as a manager of a business, that is not a beneficial outcome.
If all else fails, convert to Islam and demand that she wear a burka to work. I'm pretty sure the ACLU will back you up on that.
Re #3;
So do you think that's why Newt Gingrich committed adultery with Callista Bisek...because she was freely showing her goodies in his office?
Of course rules are just for men. Women have more freedom in dress than men, yet they see themselves as the victims. No, you do not have the right as a women to wear anything you want at the office, I repeat, WOMEN DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO WEAR ANYTHING THEY ANT IN THE OFFICE. This is where most women get it wrong. Men do not have that freedom, women are given way too much freedom here. In three of my previous workplaces, men have risen up and complained about the double standards in dress code betwee men and women (I think you will see this more from the younger generation). One of the workplace actully did take action and women were no longer able wear shorts to work since men were not.
"No one is responsible for the way someone else chooses to behave or react - even with regard to a scantily clad co-worker" This quote does not even make sense, this would be a great defense for a flasher. In addition the quote still does not make sense because this is exactly what the woman often want, to control how other look. If the guy is interseting and good looking, she does want the look and staring becomes ok, but if the guy is ugly she does not want him to stare. This is one of the way women weild power on men, buy being passive aggressive, and acting like victims to get sympaty when their plan don't work. When it comes to dress, two men can make the exact same comment to a woman and mean the exact same thing, if the woman like one guy, then everything is OK and she's happy, if the women does not like the man, for example the man is ugly, then the woman can act offended and cry sexual abuse and/or harassmenn. Women that dress in this way have to stop acting like victims escpecially when they know that they are in fact the aggressor and that is why they are doing it.
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it's not far from an "inappropriate dress" judgement to the justification a mullah provides to explain why women should be whipped for showing a little wrist...