(NOTE: During the writing of this article, the Cubs blew a 4-0 lead en route to a 9-5 loss at Atlanta. This is because every contract a player must sign to become a Cub includes a clause that mandates they crush the hopes and dreams of their fans.)

It was but a week ago that the Cubs were a dismal 22-31, the recent victims of both a sweep at home against Atlanta and frustrated infighting that left starting candyass catcher Michael Barrett in the hospital needing stitches in his vagina lip. At that point, the Cubs had easily earned the title of Most Underachieving Team in the MLB, easily wresting control of the dishonor from the fucking struggling Yankees, who at least had significant injuries to blame.

Fast-forward one week. The Cubs are now 20 games over .500 on a stretch that has seen them win five of their last six seven games, and which has seen a desperately needed offensive resurgence. The fans have stopped booing because they are retarded and have the attention span of goldfish, Carlos Zambrano has cooled down and for good measure, once again beaten the shit out of made amends with Michael Barrett. Most importantly, they're only six games out of relegation to AAA the lead in the NL Central.

So what's changed? It's called regression to the mean and it doesn't warrant an article because it happens to every team over the course of the year you fucking dipshit Lots.

Most important has been a return to youth in the outfield. Jacque Jones is a shitshow... actually, let's keep that one. With two strikes, Jones is a complete shitshow, batting a pathetic 12-75 (.160) on the year with just 5 RBI. Matt Murton has clearly plateaued on the wrong side of mediocre, batting just .263 with only 8 RBI to show for well over 100 AB. Sure, Felix Pie and Angel Pagan are guys with funny names not much better on paper, but Jones and Murton suck are not the answer.