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I freely admit to being a part of the collective schadenfreude Americans are feeling in regards to Paris Hilton’s arrival in jail on June 3.  Can you really blame any middle class citizen for feeling pleasure in seeing a spoiled, snotty dimwit like Paris Hilton punished for breaking the laws we all must abide by?

I do feel a bit of guilt for my glee since I heard that Paris refused an opportunity for more comfortable accommodations at a prisoner-paid facility. It shows her desire to prove she can take it like a woman. And it would be awfully hard not to turn out like Paris if you were born into an exceptionally rich family, and stumbled into Hollywood fame at such a young age. But although I can understand why Paris is such a spoiled little snip, I can also understand and accept your joy at seeing her go to jail.

For Paris’ first day in jail I wanted to create a special playlist to honor the momentous occasion.

Considering that the Century Regional Detention Facility where Paris is now staying has a reputation for horrendous food, I felt a prison menu playlist was in order. The meal schedule consists of 3 low-sodium meals a day, with the only meat being poultry,

The playlist includes a song for each menu item that Paris will enjoy on her first full day in the bighouse. Since she arrived at the jail in Lynwood, CA at about 11:30 PM on June 3, her first meal was breakfast the next morning. She awoke to bread, jelly, cornflakes, juice and milk.

Lunch included a turkey bologna sandwich, potato chips, an apple, cookie and fruit punch. And for dinner she enjoyed a hot chicken patty, gravy, potatoes, vegetables, salad dressing and pineapple bits. There's no mention of how the chicken was prepared other than it being “hot”, and as far as what was included in the “vegetables” item, who knows? Radish and boc choy perhaps?

Needless to say, the non-descript menu text leads one to believe it’s not what the heiress is used to.

This playlist includes one song for each and every menu item Paris enjoyed, or traded for protection on day one. And surprisingly, it’s a pretty decent list that includes Clem Snide, Blessid Union of Souls, Pizzicato Five, CocoRosie, Mark Knopfler, Kermit Ruffins, Califone, Yo La Tengo, The Beach Boys and more. So enjoy the music while you ponder her fate.

Tracklisting:

Breakfast (6:00 AM):

1. “Bread” by Clem Snide
2. “Jelly” by Blessid Union of Souls
3. “Cornflakes” by Pizzicato Five
4. “Juice” by Steve Vai
5. “Milk” by CocoRosie

Lunch (11:00 AM)

6. “Baloney Again” by Mark Knopfler
7. “Apple” by Califone
8. “Potatoe Chips” by Slim Gaillard
9. “Cookie” by Count Basie
10. “Fruit Punch” by Kermit Ruffins

Dinner (6:00 PM)

11. “Return To Hot Chicken” by Yo La Tengo
12. “Gravy” by The Monkees
13. “Potatoes” by Mark Olf
14. “Vegetables” by The Baach Boys
15. “Salad Dressing” by Pretty Paul Parsons
16. “Pineapple” by Jah Wobble