I had a bad, bad dream last night. I dreamed I was sitting in the living room with my dear wife, and she looked over and said…

“Honey, I want us to go see Mamma Mia up in New York.”

“Oh!” I said, “What’s that?”

“It’s a musical based on the music of ABBA.”

“What are you, nuts? Who would make a musical based on the music of ABBA?”

“It’s a big hit on Broadway, and we should go…”

At that point, I woke up screaming.

First of all, I'm not a big fan of musicals (although I did like Purple Rain). To me, musicals are kind of like asparagus. I’m not a big fan of asparagus either, but if you want to eat it, have at it. Just don’t come around and tell me how much your pee stinks.

I also liked ABBA’s songs when they first came out; that is, the first 42,000 times I heard them! If you weren’t around in the 1970s, you must know that ABBA songs played constantly. "Dancing Queen", "Waterloo", "Take a Chance On Me", "Knowing You Knowing Me", and my all time favorite, "Fernando" ("Did you hear the guns Fernando, it’s hmm... hm... hmhm... hmm mm…").

After years of intensive therapy, it has been determined that 97% of all the voices I hear in my head are ABBA.

So, if you want to go see this show, go for it. Just don’t tell me how bad their pee smells.

The Dearth of Entertainment

How has it come to this? How can it be that a show about ABBA can be wildly popular? Maybe it’s because the entertainment industry has finally decided that there are no original ideas any more, and they’ve decided they would recycle old themes and ideas from the past, bombarding us with more of the same.

Since 2006, here is a partial list of theatrical releases, as well as movies that are slated to be released in 2007 and early 2008. See if you can see a trend:

• Seriously, Dude, Where’s My Car
• Terminator 4
• X-Men 4
• Fantastic Four
• Ocean’s Twelve and Thirteen
• Big Momma’s House 2
• Evan Almighty
• Dr. Dolittle 3
• Mission Impossible III
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s chest
• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
• Clerks 2
• Jack Ass 2
• Harry Potter #47
• Rush Hour 3
• Jurassic Park IV
• John Rambo
• Sin City 2