Okay, I have to say this. What’s with all the vampire-themed romance novels I see everywhere these days? A girl just wants to read a simple romance about a Duke having a tryst with a clueless virginal lass, and you end up only finding tales of clueless virginal lasses having trysts with... vampires. And, yeah, werewolves.

I don’t know about you, but I kinda like my gentlemen alive and not sporting fangs.

Oh wait, some of these vamps are not really undead but sort of suffering from some genetic anomaly. No matter. The last thing I want in my beau is that he has an insatiable appetite for my blood.

I am totally mystified how vampires (and all things handsome but creepy) have hijacked the romance genre. Is it the Anne Rice effect? Are people mourning the demise of Angel and Buffy?

Declaring that "the lure of the vampire hero is the darkness that surrounds him," Romance author Amanda Ashley goes on to say:

...He is mysterious, he is dangerous, he can be ruthless, but, for the woman he loves, he is tender, gentle, protective. To be loved by such a man, to be willing to risk the danger inherent in such a relationship, is exciting, thrilling, and a little scary.

In spite of women’s rights and equality, I think many of us harbor a secret longing to be dominated by a powerful male. Not in a cruel, sadistic way, of course. I’m not talking slavery or abuse. There’s also something appealing about being able to win the love of such a man, to know that he would sacrifice his life for yours.

Um. Okay!

My sister loves the genre to bits. I tried reading some of her books (free books, why not?) but couldn’t get past the first chapter. These vampire beaus have become terribly cliche. They’re almost always broody and sad and um, great in bed. Hey, give me a happy vampire who just wants to watch daffodils grow and I may give it a try. (But they can keep the great-in-bed part.)

You know what kind of romance hero I’d love to read about? Some centurion in ancient Rome. Or an arrogant Patrician who falls in love with a slave girl. Now, that’s a romance craze I’d go for...