I have a startling confession to make: I'm a pretty big wrestling fan. I don't like it as much as I used to, but I still follow it relatively closely.  Even though I stopped scheduling social events around wrestling shows a long time ago, I found a woman who doesn't make fun of me for liking wrestling (besides my Mom). People still look at me like I'm Corey Feldman when I reveal this shocking secret, but I don't really think it's all that embarrassing anymore. I have to admit, though, that TiVo has made it easier to be a wrestling fan. We can now save the broadcasts until our parents, roommates or significant others leave the house, "sneaking" in our weekly wrestling rations as if they were stacks of old porn videos.

Once every year, the Super Bowl of wrestling takes place. Say what you will about Vince McMahon, but I've never seen a nipple pop out at his “Super Bowl,” and his is a pay-per view event!

It was April 1st, which meant it was time for WrestleMania 23, the newest WrestleMania yet! The Mrs. had to work that night, and I had the rare Sunday off, so I decided to waste 50 bucks and keep a running diary of all the hi-jinx.  What follows is that diary...

None other than Aretha Franklin opened up the show in style by doing a lovely rendition of “America the Beautiful”. Personally, I would have rather seen Roseanne here, but what I’d really like to see is a match between Aretha and Roseanne, although Aretha aka “Soulkozuna” seems to have the “slight” weight advantage right now. Ms. Franklin was also wearing a blonde wig, which made her resemble a young Ric Flair on a steady diet of chocolate éclairs.

This was the 23rd WrestleMania. Vince McMahon is doing quite well these days. I haven't been really keeping up with the league, but I’m pretty sure the 6th annual XFL Bowl is right around the corner. Go Birmingham!

Match Number One:

Jeff Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Edge vs. Booker T. vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton in a “Money in the Bank” ladder match. To win a "money in the bank" match, one must climb to the top of a ladder and attain a briefcase hanging from the rafters in the middle of the ring which contains a contract for a WWE world championship match which can be used anytime in the next 365 days.

Jeff Hardy needs an intervention. His dance moves recalled a slightly more polished Mark Madsen. I bet you this guy still thinks Limp Bizkit is cool.

Say what you will about Randy Orton, and most of you will say really naughty things, but I’ve got to admit, he had the “Bohemian Rhapsody” of ring music going for him. It was nothing I’d ever buy, but it was the perfect song for a massive, self-loving tool to enter a WWE ring to.