OPINION

Three Ways to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

Written by Dan and Jennifer
Published April 03, 2007

Long distance relationships can be quite a challenge. The most important advice I have to offer is that if you're going to attempt a long distance relationship, be completely honest with each other about your expectations, make sure you live your own life when you’re apart, and check your jealousy at the door.

It’s very important to keep your own friends and social circle, and that you don't sit by the phone waiting for him to call. That's the quickest way to go mad. Trust me. I dated a guy in the military who was stationed in Iraq. I lived by the phone for several months and was completely miserable the entire time.

Jealousy can kill a long distance relationship. If you're constantly worried about what he's doing or whom he's with, you'll drive yourself mad.

Recognize that we are social beings and we all crave companionship and closeness with another human being. Is it really reasonable to ask either of you to remain exclusive when you're so far apart? Is it reasonable to ask each other to be lonely and miserable when you aren't together?

Many people will disagree with me, but I don't think a long distance relationship should be exclusive. You're only setting each other up to fail or to at least be lonely. When you're ready to truly be exclusive with one another, move closer so you can really be together.

Lastly, be completely honest with one another in a compassionate and empathetic way. Tell the truth about how you're feeling, but make it about how you're feeling, not what the other person is or is not doing. Remember, you are the only one responsible for your feelings and your actions. No one else can make you feel a certain way or behave in a certain way.

In summary:

If you want to have a successful long distance relationship,

•  Keep your own friends and social circle.

•  Check your jealousy at the door.

•  Be completely honest about your expectations and feelings.  

Get more great articles, videos, tips, and advice like this at Ask Dan And Jennifer. Copyright 2007, AskDanAndJennifer.com, "Dating, Relationships, Love, and Sex" – All rights reserved.

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Three Ways to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work
Published: April 03, 2007
Type: Opinion
Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Family and Relationships, Culture: Society
Writer: Dan and Jennifer
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