With the Me, Eloise and Eloise: Little Miss Christmas DVD releases, Kay Thompson’s Eloise series became a cinematic stuffy menagerie of a haughty six-year-old and her lessonless adventures. Somewhere from book to disc, no humility was instilled and no valuable lessons were instilled.

With Eloise in Hollywood, the third installment in the series, the main character finally learns the ropes of hard work, the essence of sacrifice, and the beauty of giving. Even still, Eloise in Hollywood is a pompous 45-minute cartoon expose of a bratty child who should be forced to live an unpampered lifestyle to appreciate the amenities she receives.

After being invited to the filming of a major motion picture, Eloise (Mary Matilyn Mouser) becomes star-struck with the notion of becoming an actress. She dreams of crowds shouting her name, fans throwing white roses her way, and members of the paparazzi taking her picture. 

Once in Hollywood, she auditions for a small part — only to find that her wildest dreams just might come true. Standing in her way is an even more unpleasant child named Debbie Lincoln. Rooting her on in California is Nanny (Lynn Redgrave) and Eloise’s new driver and Nanny’s love interest, Monte (Tim Curry). Meanwhile, missing her in New York are her friends (Bill, Yuko, and others) and pets (Weinie and Skipperdee).

For a young girl like Eloise to even suppose that burping, calling people “husky,” ordering others around, and toasting herself is ladylike, is completely off-putting. Furthermore, for Eloise to make invalid assumptions (like actors “lie around in Hollywood year round”) and pack for one year’s vacation instead of one week’s, shows how the lack of an influential mother bears consequences.

The sheer mindset that a child can grow up without active parents, be fed from a silver spoon, and behave like an average appreciative six-year-old is preposterous. Eloise in Hollywood is a case in point of this sad fact. The main character is easy to despise. The plot and its implications take a quick back seat to the viewer’s frustration with the child’s upbringing. As a result, the film is impossible to enjoy on every level.  

Dear adaptive screenwriters: try your hand at Eloise Goes to School or Eloise in Africa, and place this little monster out of her luxurious element. Maybe she’ll learn something and lose the adolescent arrogance. After all, it would be refreshing to see this snooty toddler reform her attitude and upgrade this exceedingly stale, insufferable, and annoying series.