Am I dreaming? Is this possible? Did someone slip some psychedelic drugs into my Fruit Loops this morning? I mean, am I really this lucky? After experiencing the oh-so wonderful Wilson Yip/Donnie Yen/Sammo Hung crime-fu masterpiece SPL (aka Killzone) just a few months ago, I never would have thought I'd get ANOTHER Yip/Yen collaboration in the same year. Ah, the joys of all-region ownership. Anyway, I was pretty psyched to find myself sitting down with Dragon Tiger Gate, which promised even more martial arts mayhem set within a slightly fantastic world in the not-so-distant future. Right on!

Err, wait a second. Wait just a bloody second, here. Why does 90% of the cast look as though they just stepped out of a J-pop video? Why does Donnie Yen look 20 years younger than he really is? And why did I find myself nodding off when I should've been bouncing off the walls with unadulterated excitement? In their haste to make a dramatic action picture with a heart, Yip and Yen forgot to put the snap in the kick, so to speak. Whoops. It looks and sounds decent, mind you, but there's just something missing, as if attempting to slip a little melodrama into the proceedings ultimately ruined what could have been a solid comic book adaptation. Gotta hate it when a weak story gets in the way of great action.

I know I hate it when that happens.

After saving a family from a group of sadistic debt collectors, martial arts master Tiger Wong finds himself in the possession of a very important plaque, one that symbolizes the partnership between a vicious street gang and a creepy masked villain called Shibumi who, apparently, would like nothing more than to rule the world. Or something. Anyway, during this first-reel skirmish, Tiger finds himself facing the formidable Dragon Wong, who just so happens to be Tiger's older brother. Imagine that.

To make a long, drawn-out story short, Dragon retrieves the plaque for his boss Kwun, realizes he needs to return to Dragon Tiger Gate — the karate school/orphanage/shelter where he spent some time as a child — and convinces Kwun to retire early so he can do so. Deciding that his bodyguard might be onto something, that it may be time to leave this seedy world of crime behind, Kwun reluctantly returns the cherished plaque to the dreaded, ill-tempered Shibumi.

This, of course, irritates the masked crime lord immensely, causing him to send a gaggle of weirdo henchmen to end the old man's life. Armed to the teeth, they decend upon Kwun at his daughter's little league game, though Dragon manages to dispense a little damage of his own before all is said and done. Word soon gets back to Shibumi that a student of Dragon Tiger Gate prevented his henchmen from killing Kwun's daughter, forcing the evil mastermind to take revenge on the entire school/orphanage/shelter. Now, bound together by a tragic loss, Dragon, Tiger, and their buddy Turbo join forces to defeat the madman who destroyed their childhood memories.

Um, yeah.

Confused? Sorry about that. You see, despite a fairly simple premise, Dragon Tiger Gate's charm is essentially lost in the details. There are quite a few snore-inducing flashbacks featuring Dragon and Tiger as children, as well as a number of subplots involving their respective love interests and the wet-behind-the-ears Turbo, who apparently wants nothing more in life than to master every functional form of kung fu. It all could have been very interesting — it should have been very interesting — but there's really not enough character development for you to really give a damn about anyone.