by Tina M. Courtney

All right, that’s it. Whoever it was that dreamed up the haves versus the have-nots on Survivor (Mark Burnett, I’m talking to you), please admit your horrendous mistake and let’s get back to the show we know and love. This season’s showdown is an absolute nightmare. Moto can’t stop winning, eating, and gloating about it, which means Ravu can’t stop losing. It’s a disgusting display, bringing out everybody’s bad side, and it’s just not fun to watch. Rita was the latest Ravu victim; a kind-natured woman who just didn’t belong in the increasingly cutthroat environment. At least there’s a wee bit of justice.

This is beginning to sound like a scratchy, screeching broken record – Ravu is starving, exhausted, and going a bit bonkers, and the show starts with this clear display. Rocky is especially showing his cracks; every episode seems to show him targeting a new victim. He’s lashing out, throwing tantrums, and losing it on a minute-by-minute basis. There is a wee bit of sanity to speak of, and it all rests squarely on the shoulders of Yao-Man and Earl. The two former Exile Island alums joined forces to find the idol. They failed, but I have an inkling that losing streak will be short-lived. As for the one their tribe is on — oy vey, unless they merge, that’s bloody hopeless.

Back at the Moto camp, their true colors are blazing. It’s ironic that the team that has all the luxuries is acting like the biggest babies. The ladies, save Cassandra, are acting like bitchy victims, and some of the men are getting peeved. Poor Alex is a one-man brain band battling against a team of spoiled dimwits. He finally convinced the team that they have to stick together, regardless of alliances, because of the pending merge. The damage has been irrevocably engraved, however – Cassandra and Dreamz are ready to jump ship the first chance they get. And from the looks of the next episode, that chance is coming on like a freight train.

Before the first challenge, players were asked to decide on two items selected from a catalogue. Ravu picked potatoes and fishing gear, forgoing the more luxurious items in lieu of necessities. Moto, in their “we have everything already” state, chose coffee and toiletries. Because they already HAVE everything else.

This is so painful to watch. So. Not. Fun.

Shockingly, Ravu lost the challenge. Again. Moto got to gloat up a storm and wreak havoc with their coffee.

Next came the immunity challenge. Ravu seemed to have the upper hand, as it was focused solely on mental capabilities, with no physical restraints involved. They almost pulled out a victory, but Rocky’s last minute blunder helped Moto pull out another freaking win. At tribal council, Rita was sent home, a little stunned, but without an ounce of bitterness. She’s a class act. In other words, she didn’t belong on this show.

The next Survivor: Fiji episode won’t air until Wednesday (yes, I said Wednesday), March 21. It looks like a gem, however – it would seem Dreamz gets a chance to cross over, and does so without hesitation. What’s more, camps are up for grabs, so who knows which tribe members will finally be allowed to eat, and which we can blissfully watch suffering. If they send Lisi over to camp hell, all other travesties will be forgotten.