No callback and "don't call us, we'll call you" seem to be the responses of the casting folks at Survivor. What to do? What to do? Gloria knew what to do. She'd try even harder, make herself stand out even more from the crowd! After her third tryout, she decided that if she never got on the show, she'd work at having the record for the most tryouts. Now, that's a goal she may attain. Fourteen tryouts, yet not one personal interview from the staff. One would think they'd at least talk to her to tell her to stop if they're not interested!

She's submitted tapes of herself hibernating on the kitchen table, coming out of trash bags that her family threw her in as she's a reality show failure, wearing a black girdle and bikini-top dancing with a cut-out of Jeff Probst (also in a bikini), sitting on a Chamber Pot of Dreams, and more. In live casting call auditions, she recently went as far as peeing in her pants and announcing it to the crew.

What would you do to be on Survivor? I'm sure that it's not anything that Gloria Query hasn't already thought of and tried. From her zany and perhaps a bit scary audition tapes and casting call auditions to her plans for the winnings – help someone down on their luck and create a business where special needs folks like her own son could work – she's a woman obsessed. I think the only way Mark Burnett is going to get this monkey off his back is to give her shot and let her sink or swim.