Blogcritics Comments on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Comment by sir david stephens,jr. on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 23:34:02 EDT

The n-word shouldn't be banned,but the action of being treated as such should.As Blacks,we are demeaned through social injustice,yet tell ourselves that this is okay,but when we or anyone says nigger,that this somehow is wrong.No word has ever carried power unless you believed in it,however,all physical actions do and to be treated without having any value is far greater than being told that you have no value,because that alone is what becomes a hinderance to our progression and should be our focus combatting. Every person is entitled to love,like,dislike or hate his neighbor,but when those feelings turns into actions that limits or binds me,then do we have a problem,also stop apologizing for the wrongs done unto you,you're the victim,you have nothing to apologize for,furthermore,stop asking to be apart of what someone doesn't want you to be apart of.Blacks care more about the love, approval and acceptance of whites for our needs and concerns,we don't care about ourselves.When we learn to build,develop and implement the needed actions to move our community forward,you won't give the n-word or anything else a second thought,for example,are we building a new King memorial,because we love him so or is it to keep us a marred in backwardness and debt.He doesn't need that,but need to instill his values in us, which is how you demonstrate your appreciation. Do you think a man that fought so hard to assure we become efficient would allow us to spend our monies in a non-productive fashion,money that could have gone to improving schools and education,business development,new hospitals or healthcare to those without,agricultural needs and groceries,these are what Black people should be working towards,not some pointless,cosmetic and superficial notion of equality,but proven change that we command,no one will ever give a damn about us until we start caring enough about ourselves

Comment by Elvira Black on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 21:34:29 EDT

Izzy: That may just sum it all up, in a way...but it depends on how you look at it, I guess. BTW: Part 2 can be found here:

Comment by izzy on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 17:25:11 EDT

i think the "N" word should be abolished because that small word is bringing this generation back in to slavery

Comment by Elvira Black on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 3 Mar 2007 07:26:20 EST

Hi again: Somehow I missed these new comments--either I didn't get notification on the e-group, or whatever...but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless. I'm moving from the Lower East Side of Manhattan to the Northwest Bronx. If you walk about two blocks, you hit the river and the bridge into upper Manhattan. It's near the Bronx Zoo, the NY Botanical Gardens, and Fordham University. I know the 'hood well since BG has lived here for almost 9 years. He's another Manhattan transplant. The move itself is not a prob--rather, it's having to deal with real estate "professionals" that has driven me batshit insane. My ex-boyfriend (we co-owned the Manhattan place) is now looking for a new place, and in the process of trying to help him out I've had several encounters with shady lawyers, brokers, mortgage companies, etc.--many with their greedy grubbing hands out but as unscrupulous and/or incompetent as the day is long. Rather than just cry about it, I wrote a few pieces--one of them also on BC--as part of a series called "Adventures in Real Estate." So far I've exposed one of these brokers, complete with name and links, and though it will probably change nothing, it did feel good to "out" her. I have a new blog as well devoted exclusively to NYC, and I have plenty of material to draw upon. I find myself being drawn more into the economic/political aspect of real estate--esp since my new area is (in my opinion) destined to continue to develop. As it does, the poor/working poor who call this home may find themselves booted out unless careful measures are taken from the start. There is an organization right down the road that is tackling this imminent problem, and I've been invited to attend a "shrinking affordability" forum at Fordham University later this month. I plan to write about these issues, as well as many others here and on my NYC blog. I'm starting virtually from scratch--I shitcanned all the old boxes I'd carried from place to place for the past 30-odd years. I've been shopping online for furniture, housewares, etc;; I have a painter lined up; and as soon as I know my closing date I can plan to have the place all furnished and set up in record time. There was a time, many moons ago, when a person of modest means (or even less) could have a wide choice of apts in Manhattan that were affordable and even spacious. Those days are long, long gone. But to me, the Bronx is like deja vu--it is astounding what you can get here, dirt cheap, but even here prices have doubled in the past 5-7 years. Meanwhile, all the old developments in Manhattan and Brooklyn that were set up for the working/middle classes are being eliminated--including the place we just sold, which we bought for 8 grand in '91--with no mortgage and dirt cheap maintenance. The buyer of our Manhattan place looks to be all of 20 years old, and doesn't strike me as a hotshot Wall Street broker, so I'd guess that mommy and daddy are buying her way in. Lord knows I could never afford to buy my own place back for 450K! Yes, folks, 450K for an 800 square foot coop. And that's a bargain in Manhattan--one beds elsewhere can go for about 650K and way up--and the maintenance is about 450 (many Manhattan places can run into the thousands). When you hit two beds, you're talking a mill, minimum. But despite the recent housing downturn in the US, Manhattan prices are still going strong. People will do anything and pay anything just to live on this little island. So when I express puzzlement over my friend, it's because of this very real elitism that still exists about the "idea" of Manhattan. It is still seen as the grand prize--the place where everything is happening, and to live outside its epicenter was until recently to be somehow lacking. But as my friend can attest to, the cost of living is insane, it's getting more and more overcrowded, it's losing much of its old, essential character, and it's becoming a ghetto for the very rich. It broke my heart to leave, but I've had plenty of time to get used to the idea--it's taken 9 years to get this process going, since my ex-boyfriend/roomate didn't want to give up the place for love or money. In any case, I talk plenty about this stuff elsewhere--including my New York Stories series here on BC. Clavos--I seem to remember an article you? wrote where lots of people said there was a lot of crime and other probs going on in Miami. Yes, it's diverse, but maybe too "diverse" for my friend's liking, if you get my drift... Allesandro--both my current and ex-boyfriends were good Catholic altar boys back in the day. BG's mom is super religious and she and her husband even joined a cult a long time ago, until the Church declared it to be a schism and announced that those who did not leave its ranks would be excommunicated. Though there is a lot of beauty and magic in the Catholic rituals and beliefs, I have seen with my own eyes what havoc it can wreak on innocent children who are told that if they misbehave they will burn in an everlasting lake of hellfire, etc. Most Catholics live and let live, but of course there are always those crackpots who presume to know what is best for the entire world. BG's mom sends him religious letters and literature, and has her own very odd views, but she's also surpisingly well read and a real sweetheart most of the time. And she likes Jews--lucky for me. One time she thanked me for being such a good friend to BG--and for giving her "our Lord" to boot. Ah, wasn't nothing...glad I could be of help. Nancy--I agree with you--a friend in need of a reality check is a friend indeed. Unfortunately, BG is in the habit of trying to buy me jeans from the Bronx bargain racks. He can wear anything and it looks great on him--I cannot. He tried to get me to wear some pants he bought me that made me look like Farmer Jones, and doesn't seem to think that I should go for the women's jeans at all. Not a big help. Anyway, back to the "n' word--as Heloise alluded to, there have been some new developments which I may write about as a "part 2."

Comment by Clavos on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Thu, 1 Mar 2007 10:15:02 EST

Elvira writes: She adores NYC, but Manhattan is turning into an unlivable zone even for those who can still afford it, and since they're raising her coop maintenance by about 50 percent, she needs to find some financial solutions quickly. She does love the diversity of NYC and may try California, but it's not exactly dirt cheap there either. But she figures she can find something less expensive than NYC there. Tell her to take a look at Miami. It's not cheap, but still beats NYC and CA, and in terms of diversity, growth, and opportunity it's a lot like NYC must have been at the beginning of the twentieth century immigration explosion, but with all the mod cons. Lots of work, too.

Comment by Heloise on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Thu, 1 Mar 2007 09:29:16 EST

NYC passed symbolic law that N word should be banned. I forgot Elvira stated early on that she was moving. Yes, Nancy I have been in my house nearly ten years. And guess what? Only this past summer did I clear out the attic and finally put things where they belong. I can't believe it took me so long. But I also had to renovate garage before I had the space. That took me like five years of living here first. But anyway, E, just remember don't rush stuff when you move. It does take time and in a new community. I feel for you. I found that it takes no less than 5 years to settle into a community after moving. I've been in Texas going on 11 years. Heloise

Comment by alessandro Nicolo on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Thu, 1 Mar 2007 09:26:35 EST

Wo, wo. Slow down! You mean, Catholics don't have the inside track to heaven? Man, I gotta rethink things here. As for wanting to know what stereotypes white people have and think of each other just read soccer threads. It's amazing what aggrieved soccer fans will come up with. Most of it pathetic of course.

Comment by Nancy on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Thu, 1 Mar 2007 09:17:03 EST

You're moving - ! No wonder you were feeling peevishly for awhile there. That's enough to make anybody go postal, IMO. I last moved 10 years ago, & I STILL have cartons I haven't unpacked yet. So...where/what part of NYC are you moving to? My definition of a good friend is someone who will tell you honestly that those pants make you look fat - before you hit the streets & everybody in public wonders whether you bothered to look in a mirror when you put the things on.

Comment by Elvira Black on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Thu, 1 Mar 2007 08:51:55 EST

Hey all: I've been offline for a few days because we're getting ready to close on our old apt--today at noon! But did want to thank you for your comments since then. I'll write more later (have to get ready to go into the city and get myself a nice big check!) but very briefly: Nancy, Zedd, Heloise et al: Thanks for the terrific comments--I agree with all of what you've said. Heloise, if you've dated Jewish men, it would only follow that you're not exactly anti-Semitic. Sorry about the stalking thing--what a drag. Re: the BC forum: in short, I made an ass of myself and have posted an apology to the Yahoo writer's e-group and the forum itself. Zedd: Yes, it's a bit odd for most Catholics to be that way, but there are some fundamentalists (including the ones that bomb abortion clinics) who are pretty radical. My blogpal is definitely well meaning, but again, I think there may be a disconnect between "helping" people in need and actually contemplating living amongst them, but I am probably way wrong, since she told me over and over how much she loved the hood and the cool people, including teens, that she encountered there. I have a bad habit of seeing "perfect" solutions to other people's problems, and if they express their frustration I'm likely to offer some advice or feedback. I know what her 'hood is like, and it is now, even more than before, an enclave of the privileged classes. She adores NYC, but Manhattan is turning into an unlivable zone even for those who can still afford it, and since they're raising her coop maintenance by about 50 percent, she needs to find some financial solutions quickly. She does love the diversity of NYC and may try California, but it's not exactly dirt cheap there either. But she figures she can find something less expensive than NYC there. My only observation was that she seemed genuinely torn by her love for the city and the need/desire to get out from under. To me, of course, the solution seemed "clear"--but again I only mentioned it in passing jokingly once or twice. I still do believer that many young whites do have some trepidation about moving into a largely minority neighborhood, partly out of fear and partly because the urban amenities do not match their lifestyle. But as the services continue to improve and the rents begin to rise, there will likely be more of an influx of these folks. I only hope that the many working class/poor people who call this home don't get pushed out in the process, and that the cost of living doesn't rise too radically. Nancy: Yes, it is quite a relief when you're close enough to someone to cut through the bull and say what needs saying. BG and I bicker like an old married couple, and I'm grateful we do rather than hide resentments from each other that can then build up and fester and eventually produce an explosion. Better to have the minor skirmishes as they occur than the total nuke meltdown later. Again, many thanks again for the comments! TTFN--Elvira

Comment by Heloise on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:34:28 EST

Elvira, I planned to get back sooner. I got distracted with doing grades, and Condi Rice's latest antics made me write an article that took another day to put together. Besides, I thought this tread was endless...:) Anyway, I was reading your post on bc forums. What is the forum that was started about "shut the f up? I couldn't find it? The boyfriend thing: Yes, true, I've had 5 Jewish boyfriends of varying degrees of intensity. The reason I said white in the other post is because my latest, love of my life guy, was white and not Jewish. The Jewish guys were quite a while back. Sorry for the confusion. But they were bonifide Jews...okay? LOL. In fact I think I have done something no one else has done: dated a Jew and a Palestinean back-to-back. They didn't know about each other. But the Jewish law student came first. And after we broke up, he drank too much, he started stalking me and making obscene calls. I knew it was him. Anyway, I dated the Palestinian polisci student. But had to let him go for the same reason that I had to ditch the Malaysian engineering student: They all drank too much for me. I can't deal with men who drink. It ruins your sex life. Anyway, I'll talk to you on the bc forums too. Heloise

Comment by Zedd on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:18:06 EST

#246 I think that what matters most in society is issuing kindness. Your friend doesn't understand the society that she is working in because it is completely new to her but I am more impressed with her effort to make other people comfortable. We don't do enough of that. I would rather her do what she is doing than for her to lecture about something that she has no knowledge about. People will tell that she is a novice and will love her for just wanting to express kindness and display humanity. I am disheartened by the numbers of unwed parents in the AA community. Again, we do what we know. I attribute the success and the cohesion of the Jewish people to the thousands of years of Jewish traditions which promote the culture and virtues. Even non religious Jews benefit from the existence of that tradition because there is a subconscious understanding of an expectation for a Jewish person. Again there is a reason why were don't buy and sell people, strip them of an opportunity to create a society, strip them of an opportunity to wed, etc. That damage will not be fixed in a 100 yrs. However the situation, it has to be repaired. That is what thousands of people like myself are focused on. With the people in my circle, that scenario is non extant. The thousands of people in my church for instance are married couples who are doctors, University instructors, attorneys, entrepreneurs, VPs and other professionals. That is very different from what goes on in the urban setting. ------ On the religious people that you encountered, I would have smiled and said no thank you and felt sorry for them. They are either imbalanced or brain washed. I'm not Catholic but I don't think that Catholics proselytize like that. That was just odd.

Comment by Nancy on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:12:11 EST

Elvira/Zedd/all: I'm glad to see you 2 talking. People can disagree with you - even vociferously - & not be your enemy. I get along with Arch, even when he tells me I'm a liberal loonie, etc. because he's civil most of the time, when I'm not calling him a political neanderthal. I always figure there are just some things about our lives that other people won't be able to connect with, no matter how willing they be or how hard they try; and there are things that I know I have taken far more deeply than they deserve, so maybe their comments about 'get over it' are on target - or not. But it shouldn't be a capital offense to me. If nothing else, I've read some very excellent POV explanations by each of you as to why/how you view things as a Jew/black that I would never have thought of or realized loom large in the minds of Jews or AAs, so this was/is a good thing, for all of us reading your exchanges.

Comment by Nancy on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:01:37 EST

Elvira #208: I was taught there are some rules of thumb about when to tell white lies, to whit: when someone has done something to look weird/awful - but they can't do anything about it (like having a big nose, or because it's already happened, like having TP stuck to your shoe), you tell the LWL & assure them it's OK. If something CAN be done - the dress is too tight, the hair is awful - you can say judiciously something to the effect of, "well, personally I prefer your hair long & curly, so I don't really care for that style on you (to Brittany Spears, for example). I think it's too extreme to reflect the YOU that I know," or something else that tells them truthfully that they don't look good &/or you can't/don't approve, but at the same time makes it a matter of individual taste. If you're VERY close to someone, you can go a bit further & say, "I don't think you should have done that. It's just too extreme & people will stare. Let me help you find a good wig until it grows out." My REAL friends will tell me the truth, brutally if they must, in order to keep me from looking like a fool in public - & offer to help me fix it if necessary. On the other hand, there's no point in saying, 'gee, that's a great dress, but you really need a nose job'. I can't exactly run right out that second & get a nose job, can I? Besides, I'm very aware already of my nose (or weight, or what-have-you), in all probability. There are all kinds of ways to tell the truth but not get nasty about it. Like when I called someone here at BC who is very argumentative "feisty" originally. Eventually I had to go to stronger terms, but as a first approach it was a good one, since it let them know (if they were going to pick up on it) that they were argumentative (without my being nasty about it & saying "boy are you a quarrelsome jerk"). See? With unwanted or stupid gifts, you can always say something like, "Oh, this will be SO useful-!"; you just don't mention it will be useful in the landfill, altho if they're very close, you can wrap it up & re-gift it to them next year, & say, "as soon as I saw this I knew you wanted it back; this really is a classic 'mathom'" (mathom = gift that keeps getting passed around year after year because nobody wants it. Like a good fruitcake.).

Comment by MAOZ on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 12:19:11 EST

Elvira #244, no need to worry about murdering a Spanish phrase when telling people you don't speak Spanish -- in fact, if you do "murder" it, it'll just add confirmation to your claim, right?

Comment by Elvira Black on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:07:23 EST

Zedd 236 and 237: You've opened my eyes here just as Heloise did. Yes, I think you're right about whites--after all, we're the predominant culture and thus the "industry standard," so to speak. But Jews also feel some of this because this is a predominantly Christian nation. Hanukkah is a relatively minor holiday that has been expanded into a pseudo-Christmas, since kids do get little gifts or candy or toys during that week as well. But we're talking, like, a few pairs of socks, maybe a dreidel, a chocolate gold coin, a couple of bucks, and so on--or at least that was true in the good old days (Ruvy? Am I wrong?) Now of course it's just a clone of Christmas for many folks. There was a big brouhaha a year or two ago over whether to wish people "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays." But that's a whole nother thread. Yes, you're quite right. Kids are kids no matter what race etc. I read NY Magazine a lot--have for years--and every once in awhile they have an article about mainly white rich kids who go to private school on the Upper East Side (a la Robert Chambers and Jennifer Levin) and are so far "ahead" in terms of the latest trends in delinquent behavior that the mind boggles. Street drugs are mostly out, in favor of scripts stolen from their parents or swapped with kids at school (Ritalin, etc). Sex parties, of course. All right under the nose of their oblivious, wealthy parents who have provided them with the "best" of everything. They are so jaded at 16 that one has to wonder what is left for them to experience after that. Most of the hippies of the 60s were from middle class homes, and they couldn't wait to get away from that bourgeois prison. Again, they had the best of everything--college educations, freedom, and all the rest--but they loved nothing better than to wear faded jeans, eschew bourgeois society, and so on. Now most of them have children if not grandchildren and are headed for retirement. Funny, no? Here's a scenario for you: a new blogpal of mine who is also a Jewish New Yorker of A Certain Age has lived in Manhattan for a very long time. Rich Jewish parents; the best of everything; trips abroad in high school; set up in her own Manhattan place (and no fifth floor walkup, either) from day one, etc. She trained as a social worker and worked for awhile in BG's Bronx hood. Said she loved the neighborhood and the people, but what troubled me is this: Her job entailed determining benefits for mothers with kids. She had issues with the fact that she was a single, childless woman, since she felt that others thought she was inadequate somehow without a husband and children. She actually pretended to have a child so that her clients wouldn't look down on her. I said that I thought that was very misguided. Though you may think I'm wrong, I have a huge prob with broken homes whether through divorce or one-parent families with no husband. The reason for this is that when a young woman has a child or children out fo wedlock and can hardly support herself let alone her kids, the chances that her kids will succeed seem to be much less certain. This cuts across all races--BG's brother has a stepdaugher who had a child out of wedlock. She is about 30 years old, sponges off BG's brother and has for years. She has been going for her bachelors for about 10 years--dropping out, re-enrolling, changing majors, and so on. Meanwhile BG's bro has his wallet open and his checkbook at her disposal every time her current drug addict boyfriend needs to be bailed out of jail, etc. He cosigned all her student loans, which she had no intention of paying back, and finally paid them all off when he got some inheritance money from his folks. But he was too intimidated to tell her that's where the money came from, thus enabling her sociopathy to continue unabated. Long story short, BG's bro and her wife are part time caretakers for this woman's son while she parties away. She gets free housing because of her low income and (as she put it to BG) because of "him"--i.e., her five year old son. A more cynical and sociopathic young woman as I'd ever hope not to meet. Anyway, I told the ex-social worker that I thought this was misguided--firstly, why feel apologetic for being single and childless? Secondly, when I see how many children are abused or even murdered by boyfriends and "stepdads" of these kids, it infuriates me. As far as white guilt goes, this woman was doing so many contortions she must have been double jointed. Meanwhile, she's complaining how expensive and crowded Manhattan is becoming, and how she loves NYC but feels like she has to move-perhaps to California. I half-jokingly suggested the Bronx, but she nixed that idea--she'd lived in Riverdale for a few years and hated every minute of it. Very Jappy up there, apparently. But I can't help but wonder why she wouldn't even consider it. In one fell swoop she'd have loads of money from the sale of her Manhattan place and could buy a huge, beautiful Bronx coop for a song. Her maintenance would be low, her cost of living would plummet, and she'd be in a neighborhood not yet overrun with tourists and congestion and construction. So what could be holding her back? Could it be an elitism about Manhattan, and perhaps not being willing to leave her white comfort zone? it's one thing, as you infer, to "help" "those people"--quite another, I suppose to live amongst them not as a helper but as a peer and neighbor. What say you? Am I wrong? is she? Are we both?

Comment by Elvira Black on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 02:03:34 EST

Zedd: Great comments, but first, you said: "NOTE: Nigerian time is worse than any CPT." It took me long enought to screw up the courage to ask S where he was originally from (why? did I think he'd take offense or something that i didn't think he was born here what with that accent and all?) But I am now curious about Nigerian culture. Anything you can tell me? Not that I'd presume you knew, but since you said something about the CPT thing, I thought I'd ask. I don't even know what their govt is like. BG vaguely thought they had a sort of "democratic" but corrupt government that was very bribeable. But again, I haven't a clue. Guess one trip to Wikipedia would set me straight. Aside from that, his lawyer colleague may be Nigerian but maybe Haitian or from some other former French colony. His accent was much much less pronounced and as I say he reminded me for all the world of a young Sidney Poitier. I get the feeling they're both religious in some quiet way. S has two cell phones, one for his personal calls and one for his office, and the latter always plays "When the Saints come marching in." I joked with the receptionist that I already knew he was there because I heard his cell phone before I even saw him. The poor guy is sometimes juggling both cells at once. I went from zero to three in the past two weeks--gave one to BG and one to G (my ex boyfriend/roomate) but BG is 21st century phobic so I wind up using his as well as mine. Since the batteries tend to run out of juice quickly, I also carry both in my purse. I pondered asking S if we could put together some sort of cell phone juggling act. Maybe we could also attempt to answer simultaneously ringing phones in mid air. Note to Christopher: Rather than religion being evil per se as you seem to believe (if not, please pipe up and say something--anything!), if practiced without the need to try to terrorize everyone around you to convert, it can actually be a good thing. A bit of the old ten commandments and all that--a handy reminder to people not to become one of the money grubbing androids out there with no heart and soul. Furthermore, it can keep one aware that one is first and foremost a full fledged member of the human race (aka a child of G-d) and are therefore officially forbidden to cheat, steal, murder, etc. in the name of the "almighty" dollar. Doesn't always take, but hey, it's worth a shot. I have commented on the new BC forums to the effect that none of the politics editors seem to be on board thus far, and Christopher seems to be MIA from there as well as here, save for a few cuts and slashes and maybe a little font adjustment and admonishment about watching the comment tagging. What gives? Is there some sort of week-long editor's holiday I should know about? Yeah, yeah, busy, swamped, new projects,etc etc. You never call, you never write...that's ok, don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark (a little Jewish mother nagging schtick for you there, folks, in case you couldn't tell). There is, moreover, a qualitative difference between Jewish and Catholic guilt. With Jewish guilt, your mom will make you feel like a heartless cad if you don't call or visit enough. With Catholic guilt, your mom or dad will sit you on your knee and tell you that if you misbehave or think about sex, ever, you will burn in an everlasting lake of hellfire. No wonder BG still has trouble falling asleep at 50-plus years old... Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's ok, don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark...

Comment by Elvira Black on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 01:25:12 EST

sr: Thanks for the laugh! Speaking of which, BG's brother once told him that some of his paintings made him want to crawl into the closet and say the rosary...that's about the gist of BG's art. Ruvy: You want it, you got it...we got yer Jehovah's Witnesses, your Mormon youth (so white they actually look more like, though this is terrible to say, Hitler Youth), your radical Catholics like those two, plus a smattering of mostly Spanish speaking Catholics (I presume) who have apparently only just arrived here themselves but are intent on saving the local souls one apartment at a time (they like to come callling during the week and on Saturdays especially). For the latter, a simple "no hablos Espanol" (Christopher? I'm sure I murdered that phrase) or no thank you will suffice. The Jehovah's witnessess seem to mainly stand unobtrusively to the side and offer you literature, if even that. There's a Mormon church down the block, and one often sees very pale white young men in pairs wearing suits or white shirts, slacks and ties with bakcpacks scurrying around. We assume they're in training for the ministry, but rarely see them inttervene with anyone, though they did once with me. As for the Jehovalh's witnesses--ok, coffee's out. But what do they generally prefer instead: a cocktail or a nice cold beer?

Comment by Ruvy in Jerusalem on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 00:34:06 EST

If ever a Jehovah's Witness comes a knocking, offer them a cup of coffee and invite them to sit down and discuss their ideas. Make sure you have the coffee cup in hand. Chances are they take a fast hike! Coffee is the devil's drink... so they say, anyway.

Comment by sr on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 22:24:14 EST

Elvira, ever had a Jehovah's Witness come knocking. That is for me intertainment depending on my Capt Morgan and holy water consumption. Pleasent day to you. By

Comment by sr on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 22:00:59 EST

Elvira, just think of all the beads you can wear as a Catholic and all the petifiles dressed as men in black you can meet. Speaking of meat thats out of the question on Fridays ya know. Maybe even an autographed picture of the Pope to put on your wall. For me I like my Capt Morgan with a little ice and a bit of holy water. After that it's time for a smoke, say a few hail marrys and fondle my rosary beads. Life is grand.

Comment by Elvira Black on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 20:17:56 EST

Christopher: Thanks to you or whomever turned off the ital (stop the ital, I want to get off!) I've got a story for you. This morning, I came out of BG's bulding and stood for a minute as I like to do, looking at the buildings up and down the Grand Concourse in the morning sun. From the left about a half block away I saw a white man and woman. The woman was carrying a big sign that read: You can't go to Heaven unless you're a Catholic. They walked by and the guy tried to hand me lliterature. I gave him an empatic no...thank...you. As he passed on, he said over his shoulder: "You're going to hell!" I promptly shouted back: "I don't want to go to your heaven!" There. That'll fix 'em. Their karma is so low that there's surely a special secret circle of Dante's inferno reserved just for those two. How'd I do?

Comment by Ruvy in Jerusalem on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 16:43:23 EST

Elvira, One small note re comment #235: it's "capisce?" - not "capiche?" The latter is French orthography and comes out as "kap�ke" in Italian. You get to learn these things when your neighbors and best friends are Napolitani, they feed you pasta � fagiole, teach you how to draw, fascinate you with sketches of cars from the 1930's, photos of motorcycles with sidecars in the roundabouts of postwar Napoli, and tales of fighting in Mussolini's army in Ethiopia so many faded decades ago... Shavua Tov, Reuven

Comment by Zedd on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 16:17:20 EST

Should read: Understand this is not an attitude or feeling of hatered it is a caution based on a survival instinct. ---- I do preview but I will continue to make typos... sometimes they are so bad that I have to go back and redo. Sorry folks. The kids call me, I get distracted, forget the tense, or punctuation or just get thrown off..... again apologies.

Comment by Zedd on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 16:06:03 EST

I'm sort of torn about wanting people to say what they feel about other groups. In one way because most of the time their views sound really crazy when they are expressed, it makes THEM look bad and my contribute to stamping out those types of views. My other way of thinking is that it is rubbish. They are dirtying the air ways (per se). We have enough ugliness. They will learn with time that their views are wrong as they engage with people. However, there is truth to most stereotypes. The problem is some groups get to issue or proclaim OTHER people's stereotypes louder, with more frequency than other groups. If I KNOW that Africans or AAs are known for lateness, I am going to try not to be late. If I don't know that, I will continue to be tardy. I think that most Whites (not Jews however, they have been stereotyped thoroughly) but Whites in general, don't know what people think of them as a culture ("race"). Many behave as if they think they are the standard. I think that most Whites are quite naive about the way the world sees them because they are accustomed to telling everyone who THEY are and how things are SUPPOSED to be. While its gotten better, Whites don't imagine, it doesn't seem, that they are being perceived and opinions are being formed about them, all of the time. There are a few cultures which believe NEVER trust a White man. While people will smile and accommodate, that feeling remains. Understand this is not a attitude is not one on hate it is a caution based on a survival instinct. Part of that comes from those cultures being misinterpreted and feeling wronged over and over again by people who enter their community than misrepresent them. Another reason off course comes from the history of crimes against those cultures. -------------- NOW If we approach each other knowing that we are not considered good, better, smarter, more pure or capable, or the opposite, we will do EACH OTHER more good and WE will be happier. Our entire society will grow and we will give others a benefit of a doubt. EVERYONE will be gauged on merit. There will be no need for quotas because we will truly be a fair society. However I sense, and I could be very wrong, that for some people this is a scary notion. The big jet black guy may be CEO instead of a bouncer and the Ken doll guy may be an unloader at the dock for life. The brown man may be a judge instead of a dishwasher and the blond boob girl may just remain in her trailer. When the day comes when true merit is measured and real rewards are gained for ability, our world will be different.

Comment by Zedd on Should the "N" Word Be Banned?

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 15:20:05 EST

I like your story about the older gentleman and the Indian woman. I was at Barnes and Nobles a few weeks back. I love taking a break there. They have enormous plushy wing back chairs where I sip on my cappuccino and read. On this occasion about 9 young teens all White and one multiracial came in and started talking loudly. Everyone in the sitting area kept trying to give "the look" but they were early teens and off course needed to be seen. Being my father's daughter, I said "excuse me kids, I know you are having fun but you need to keep your voices down. People come hear for the quite. If you want to hang out and be loud why not go to xyz". They continued to act up. I gave the mixed kid the "I know you are not acting a fool" look (he seemed to be the leader), which he seemed to understand, he then told the guys to chill and the suburban pack left. Kids are kids. We all raise the children in society. I am sure that those kids will think twice when encountering a situation like that before they act up again. They have learned a little about social behavior. Black kids are no different. As for the Indian woman, I would hope she wasn't giving "the look" because they were kids of color making a fool of themselves. I would hope that she was giving "the look" because they were kids who were acting up who needed an adult to give them guidance. I saw two kids at the drug store near my mom's place during school hours, last week. I greeted them then asked them why they weren't in school. They told me that they were out on Presidents day. It seems they attend a private school.... They were sweet and had a lot of "yes ma'ams". But the point is, we take care of children as a society. ---- I am not sure about the notion that we as Americans are the most workaholic. I think we are probably the most commerce committed. In other places, while they may get off right at 5:00, the wife will more likely cook everything from scratch. They walk to the store and not necessary a block away. They wont spend the evening sitting in front of the tube for hours on end (although that is changing). They may stop by a relatives house and run errands for them before they get home... Things like that. That is why when immigrants get here, they are rearing to go because they don't live sedentary lives like we do. NOTE: Nigerian time is worse than any CPT.