Satire: Bush To Invade Iran
Published February 13, 2007
General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, insists there is no evidence to support the idea that the Iranian government is supplying insurgents in Iraq with the ready-made bombs and other materials. Pace said some of the material can be traced to Iran and that U.S. forces have arrested Iranians. His assertion that Iran itself is not involved contradicts three senior military officials in Baghdad who have said the Iranian government is responsible for having provided Shiite militants in Iraq with bombs now blamed for the deaths of more U.S. troops.
"That's all I needed to hear," Bush said on his way into an emergency meeting he'd called shortly after hearing what he said were "the words of our proud patriots in combat. Pace isn't in combat. What does he know?"
Bush, Cheney, and Peppy the coffee guy emerged hours later to announce plans to invade Iran. Bush snickered at a press conference held later in the day saying, "If someone paid by me to agree with me doesn't agree with me, well, that's all she wrote. The cows have come home." Amid murmurs of "What the hell does that mean?" from the press corps, Bush was noticeably beside himself with glee when suggesting using the 20,000 troops "...I've sent to build up the force there..." to invade Iran.
When reminded that 20,000 additional troops haven't yet been sent and that the increase in troop numbers can be explained by the extensions of tours of those still there, Bush guffawed, "Six of one, half dozen of the other. A bird in the hand is less poop on the floor." Bush grew serious and red-faced in response to what he called "unpatriotic confrontation" when questioned about his loyalty to the war-weary troops.
"What the heck did you think I wanted more troops sent to Iraq for? To fill out the chow line? I am the terror that flaps in the night! I say troops will go into Italy, I mean Indonesia, crap, one of those 'I' countries. You're either with us or against us," at which point White House Press Secretary Tony Snow moved Tango-close to the President. Bush covered the mic, but could still be heard hissing, "Get off me!"
"If you make a product or material that somehow ends up in the hands of terrorists, I don't care how it got there," Bush smirked. "You're aiding the terrorists and we're coming after you."
Diana (nee Gulick) Hartman is the Culture and Tastes Editor for Blogcritics.org. She is a freelance writer, mother of three, and a (Ret.) US Marine spouse. She is a Wichita, Kansas native, having also lived in the California desert, eastern North Carolina and Stuttgart, Germany. She currently resides in Oceanside, California. She is a contributing writer to Holiday Writes.
- Satire: Bush To Invade Iran
- Published: February 13, 2007
- Type: Satire
- Section: Politics
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire, Culture: Media, Politics: International, Politics: U.S., Politics: War and Terrorism
- Writer: Diana Hartman
- Diana Hartman's BC Writer page
- Diana Hartman's personal site
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Anytime.
What it comes down to in this case is that the C4 in the IEDs has been proven to have been made in Iran. The question is whether it was made available with or without government approval.
So ask yourself this question. Is the Iranian government the kind of government that would let hundreds of pounds of C4 go missing or be sold commercially without at least their approval if not their direct involvement?
Dave
Funny as hell! I laughed until I stopped!
"So ask yourself this question."
- Dave Nalle
Is the US Government the type of government that would either make up or exagerate evidence to make a case to go to war?
Martin, did you just ask if the US government was a government?
Dave
reread, dave.
I agree with what Vox Populi stated.
"Is the US Government the type of government that would either make up or exagerate evidence to make a case to go to war?"
Yes.
Q.E.D.
Yep, ol' Kamikaze George is at it again.
He wants to have another go at stuffing sweat socks in his crotch and saying "Mission Accomplished".
I respected cretins until he gave them a bad name.
Dave: "...the C4 in the IEDs has been proven to have been made in Iran."
Didn't GWB state, in this mornings TV appearance, that he cannot PROVE Iranian involvement, but that he believes it nonetheless?
The $64 billion dollar question is, will the cretins in Congress believe him when he decides, as The Decider, that we need to invade Iran, as well as when he tells them he has "proof" Iran is behind providing all the insurgents' weapons. Or will they finally have enough balls/brains to tell him to fuck off, like they should have the first time around?
Any bets?
Add your comment, speak your mind
(Or ping: http://blogcritics.org/mt/tb/59641)
There was a boy president who wanted to be known as someone who won great military victories. He believed that only war presidents would be known as great. So he sent his troops halfway around the world to attack a foreign country that he knew nothing about except that its leader also attacked other countries to be remembered as great. To do this, the boy president cried out, "WMD, WMD" and most listened. This pleased the boy president so much that later he tried the same trick and threatened to attack another foreign county, and the boy president again cried out, "WMD, WMD." But this time, having been fooled before, most of the country thought the boy president was lying and only his fellow-travelers believed him. The result was the country made a good meal of the boy president's congressional majority, and the boy president had to be satisfied with not being called great, and possibly being called the worst.