We finally come to our last stop on the American Idol audition tour, in the city of San Antonio, Texas. Cue the obligatory scenes of famous landmarks, and in a voiceover Ryan Seacrest says that people showed up from all over the country for one final chance at auditioning. Overall, 11,000 had dreams of becoming the next American Idol. How many actually made it to Hollywood?

Simon, having flown from London the night before, is rather jet lagged and groggy as all hell. Apparently his jet lag also affected the seating arrangements, for he's sitting on the left and Randy is sitting on the right. That, or it's Backwards Day!

Fortunately, Simon wasn't groggy for long since Brian Kyrish was there to wake him up. Brian launched into an ear-splitting version of "Rebel Yell" with no melody included, jarring Simon and everybody else wide awake. Brian mentioned that he recently won a mock American Idol competition, and after his audition Simon wondered what the loser sounded like. No go for Brian.

Jasmine Holland missed a lot of notes and was nasally. When the judges told her no, she refused to go without a fight. Jasmine told the judges that they were being negative, and that it was rude. Honestly - has she never seen the show before? As she was out the door, Jasmine asked Randy what he's ever done in the music industry, and snidely commented that she'd never heard of him until American Idol.

Outside, Jasmine and her whole family continued to bitch about all the judges. Her ignorant mom or whoever that was complained that because Simon is "French," he shouldn't be on an American show. When Ryan corrected her and said that Simon is British, this genius then actually said something like, "Then he should go back to British, to his own country." Wow. I didn't know that "British" was a country. And what is up with these morons who don't know why Simon Cowell is on the show? Interestingly, the Holland family's rantings actually pissed off even Ryan, who said, "Those are my friends - two of them." Three guesses as to who isn't Ryan's friend.

Baylie Brown is a cute, blonde 16-year old who looks a little like Denise Richards. You just knew that she'd be chosen because the cameras followed her to her house, interviewed her parents, and hell - even filmed her picking out her CLOTHES. She was actually rather boring in her audition, but I can see the dollar signs in Simon's eyes as he watched her. Indeed, Simon said that Baylie looked like she was born to be a pop star, and was commercial with a capital C. He even liked her name. Needless to say, Baylie will be in Hollywood.

William Green and Akron Watson are cousins trying out together. William is first and sings the slowest, off-key version of "Amazing Grace" I've ever heard. When the judges comment on how slow it was, William took it well, and when they asked him who he thought was the better singer, William readily admitted that it was his cousin. Because he's taking it so well, I think that William was never really serious about auditioning and just did it for his cousin. In fact, William tells the judges that he was going to pretend to storm outside in a fit, for the benefit of the cameras. All three judges laughed heartily as Wiliam "kicks" the door open and "screams" at them. When Akron does his thing, he is indeed much better than his cousin. However, Simon was bored, and Paula encourages Akron to wake him up. He sings his next song with a peppier attitude, which causes Simon to smile. Golden ticket for Akron.