Following is the second part of my two-part interview with Virginia Vitzthum, author of I Love You, Let’s Meet: Adventures in Online Dating. The first part was published last week.

First, though, I wanted to excerpt from this book a favorite paragraph about instant messaging (IM):

At the diner, we're discussing speech versus writing, and I point out that Plato declared back-and-forth, dynamic speech superior to written pieces "that always give one unvarying answer." Talia answers quickly, 'Yeah, well, Plato didn't have IM.'

According to almost everyone I spoke with, IM is the most intoxicating form of online lovemaking. Every wired love affair has its breathless IM marathons, thoughts spilling out faster than fingers can type, messages overlapping, the other person blocking out everything else on the computer, the room, the day, till you look up and it’s eleven p.m. and you’re still in the office. L’Amour IM gets so fou so fast because it’s a crush made manifest onscreen. The message box thrusts itself in front of whatever you’re working on as insistently as the reveries of infatuation – and the thoughts actually travel to the other mind.

Scott: You also talk about most of the women you interviewed not being fans of cybersex. Why do you think that is?

Virginia: We don't fantasize the same way; we need more of a connection. I don't think women on their own would have come up with pornography.

Many of the people you interviewed identified themselves as bisexual. I've noticed that elsewhere online too. Do you think there are more bisexuals online than in the general population or is it just a matter of people being more open and honest about it online?

I've wondered the same thing! Especially the women; men don't identify as bisexual so much. I'd guess if you're curious, you might think "here's my chance to try that" and perhaps some women think it makes them seem hotter.