I turned on the Memphis auditions for American Idol on Tuesday night and there was Ryan Seacrest talking to America about alternative energy sources, global climate change, and how to save the health care system through tax deductions. Even though he smirked every now and then along with Dick Cheney who happened to be in the audience - I think because Ryan is the donor for the vice-president’s next grandchild, little Defense of Marriage Cheney - Ryan seemed a little more serious than usual.

I looked a little more closely it occurred to me that it maybe wasn’t Ryan at all, but his co-host from the "Celebration of Freedom" concert in Washington, DC, in January of 2005. I thought about it a little more though and realized that this couldn’t possibly be George W. Bush, because that guy only talked about drilling the Arctic refuge, didn’t believe in global warming, and was assuring us that victory in Iraq was just around the corner. Back then, people who liked him said his best quality was that he knew what was right and stuck to it. So this obviously wasn’t that W. and this couldn’t be the State of the Union.

I thought, "What a clever idea! Idol and the FOX Network have gone Saturday Night Live and they’re using this parody of the State of the Union to boost AI's ratings."

I was very excited to hear whether Simon, Paula, and Randy thought this guy should go on to the next round of American leader, but that never happened. Instead, they had this guest judge named Jim Webb who accused this would-be American Leader of all sorts of macaca. The guy sure has aged since he wrote "Macarthur Park" and "Up Up and Away."

It was clearly a wasted opportunity. I wanted to see Simon say, “You know that wasn’t 'Mission Accomplished'" or even 'Bring ‘Em On'."

The W impersonator would then say, “Well, mistakes were made.”

Simon: “I’m not being rude, but you need to go back to Crawford and give up singing for America. Maybe you can hang out with your good friend and neighbor Ted Nugent and go ride a mountain bike or something.”

Randy: “Yes, a thousand percent. You didn’t blow it out there, man. That just wasn’t good.”

Paula: “Keep dreaming. Believe in yourself, because you’re not nearly as cute as that Jenry guy from the New York auditions so I’m not going to vote for you either.”