OPINION

Humility, Thy Name is "Jeopardy Online"

Written by Baritone
Published January 27, 2007

Yeah, I took the Jeopardy online exam. You see, I'm a pretty smart cookie. I know a lot of stuff. When I watch the show I answer questions left and right, appalled at how the contestants can be so uninformed. "Who was Bilbo? Not Frodo, you dummies!"

So.

I signed up to take the exam. I was gonna nail that sucker. It'd just be a matter of time until I could tell Alex Trebek about some dumb thing I did in college or on my honeymoon or whatever, after the first commercial break, no doubt with yours truly "still in control of the board." Look out Ken Jennings, I'm gonna play whoopass on Jeopardy!

Tuesday evening, 8pm rolls around. I'm a bit nervous but confident. The clock counts down to zero and the fun begins. The first question pops up. Uh, well, I don't know that one, but hey, let's move on. There are 50 questions. Missing one can't hurt. The second question appears. Hmmm. Well, I uh - on to No. 3. Hey, I know that one - clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. Nailed it! No 4. Oh, that's uh, oh yeah, er no, uh oops, time's up. Well, crap!

No. 5. Got it. No. 6. I got no idea. The Sargasso Sea? Where the hell is that? Screw it. Seventh question. Oh, man. I know that, I know that. Ed Asner! No, no, he was the actor. What was his character's name? Time's up, again. Damn! Lou Grant, dammit! Lou Grant for crying out loud! Oh, yeah – No. 8. Woohoo. I know that one. 9th question. That one, too. Now I'm rollin'. No. 10. Aw, man. What was his name? No, I know his name. What did he write? "The Tell Tale Heart?" No, that was Poe. Damn, damn, damn! No. 11 - and so it goes.

Uh, don't look for me on Jeopardy anytime soon. I can't even take the online exam again for at least two years. Talk about a comedown. I'm a college graduate, dagnabit. I shoulda maxed that test. Of course, I am getting a bit long in the tooth. Not as quick as I used to be. Who am I kidding? No one ever mistook me for a bolt of lightning. But, hell, how hard can it be? By golly, I'm gonna bone up over the next couple of years. I'm gonna study - what? Everything! I'll study every damn thing there is.  

I gotta get on top of all those English kings and queens. The French ones, too. And the Italians, and the Germans, and the Russians, and the - oh, well, I'll get to all of them eventually. I also gotta know about all those "potent potables" - What the hell is a Shiraz? and all of the vice presidential wives, and all of the Secretaries of Agriculture, and, oh yeah, and lyrics of all Kurt Cobain's songs, and what phylum arachnids are in, or is arachnid the phylum? No, that's the class, or maybe the species. What was the name of the chimp on the first Today show? Freddie Scruggs er no, Muggs. Yeah, Fred Muggs, Fred J. Muggs. Right? And the damn Sargasso Sea. Oh, man. I don't know. I mean, I know -- but I don't know.

Hmmm. Maybe I just oughta keep answering the questions while eating dinner. No pressure. Just keep the mac & cheese coming. I am a pretty smart cookie.

I am an atheist and a political liberal. I have been blogging for a little over a year with concerns regarding the rise of religious fundamentalism and its influence on government at all levels. Much of my work has focussed on issues regarding the above, but I tend to meander about when something unrelated piques my interest. Whatever I post here will be unfalteringly scintillating and generally apropos of nothing, but what the hey?
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Humility, Thy Name is "Jeopardy Online"
Published: January 27, 2007
Type: Opinion
Section: Video
Filed Under: Sci/Tech: Internet, Gaming: Computer, Culture: Personal History, Culture: Humor and Satire, Video: Reality TV, Video: Television
Writer: Baritone
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Comments

#1 — January 27, 2007 @ 17:39PM — Clavos

Nice article, Baritone; fun to read.

I tried out live for Jeopardy a couple of years ago, here in Miami.

According to the Jeopardy folks, almost 3,000 of us signed up. I know I saw at least 800-900 on the day I was there (there were two initial rounds on separate days, then a final round).

I was one of the semi-final 100 who made it through the first cut. From that group, 15 were to be selected the next day after another test. They would be eligible to be on the program (but wouldn't necessarily be called).

The next day, we were seated in a room with a video screen, and the questions began on the video, which physically, looked just like the program.

The questions, I thought, were MUCH harder than the ones on the program. Like you, I do pretty well in the comfort of my living room, but taking that test sure took me down a peg or two.

I did get a T-shirt, though...

#2 — January 27, 2007 @ 22:34PM — Baritone [URL]

Thanks Clavos,

You got a T-shirt, huh? Well, I guess you invested a great deal more time and effort than I did. That was the least they could have done. No doubt you earned it. I guess I'll have to find another route to my fifteen minutes of fame.

Of course the key to getting on and, especially winning on Jeapordy is not only how much one knows, but what is at least as important is how quickly one can recall and push that damn button.

That, I fear is my downfall. Oh, well. Life goes on.

Baritone

#3 — January 29, 2007 @ 12:25PM — GoBlueTrumpet

The Jeopardy! online test rules state that you can take the test again after one year, not two. Just FYI, so you can have another go at it next year!

#4 — January 29, 2007 @ 13:39PM — Baritone [URL]

Hmmm,

I thought I heard Alex Trebek say on the show that the on-line text could not be taken in successive years. Perhaps I mis-understood. But I don't know if I can learn EVERYTHING in just one year.

Well, maybe.

Baritone

#5 — January 29, 2007 @ 15:07PM — Kaonashi [URL]

I've always found that the most frustrating thing about Jeapordy! is that the cash prizes the winner gets is often much smaller than in other game shows. You can win cars and trips to Tahiti in addition to cash on Wheel of Fortune, and all you need to know in that game is some pop culture and how to play Hangman.

#6 — January 29, 2007 @ 17:45PM — Baritone [URL]

Of course the money one is likely to take away even from a fairly lengthy run on Jeapordy - Ken Jennings notwithstanding - pales in comparison to many of the other game shows - even going back to The $64000 Answer/Question programs in the 1950s.

I think the appeal of Jeapordy, though, is that it is attractive to brainiac types much moreso than any of the others. You actually have to KNOW something to win on Jeapordy, and be quick to boot. Success on most of the other game shows depends to a much greater extent on luck, or perhaps one's willingness to forego any semblance of dignity.

The prize money available on Jeapordy is not to be sneezed at, but I believe that for some at least, it is secondary to the ego boost winning provides all those smart folks. It was only a few years ago that the producers at Jeapordy doubled the money in the 2 rounds. Considering the kind of money Jeapordy likely reels in for Merv Griffin & Company (King World?) the prize money is pocket change.

#7 — September 25, 2007 @ 23:30PM — Chris

Well the prize money is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, that's for sure. And the amount you can win is really up to you, your intellect, a quick thumb, and a ridiculous capacity for odd trivia. A huge amount of my (at-home) success in Jeopardy is educated guesses. If you have that strange sponge-like mind that Jeopardy requires, I think going with your gut is the best strategy.

And you're right, the bragging rights are a huge factor. I'd rather win $80,000 on a decent Jeopardy run than win $250,000 or more on some *multiple-choice* BS like "Millionaire" or "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" The main qualifications for those shows are looks and ability to squeal and yell and jump up and down and do whatever the network thinks people want to see. Most of those people are bloody idiots.

I attempted the online test in February. Wow. The title of this page sums it up pretty well. It's not just the sitting-at-home versus really being on the spot factor, either. The questions are considerably more difficult (The Jeopardy qualification test is to Jeopardy as Jeopardy is to Teen Jeopardy!).

Ridiculously hard qualification tests seem to be the standard for serious trivia gameshows, though. I passed the initial telephone test for "Win Ben Stein's Money" years ago, and I was pretty proud of that, since I'd woken up to the phone call and wasn't exactly prepared for it. But when I went to take the written test, I couldn't believe how hard the questions were (the other people there felt the same way). And I'm great at tests. What I don't understand is how people who somehow managed to pass these crazy tests make it on there and blow obvious questions. (Speaking of which, how many of you knew instantly that H&R Block was the answer to the question that finally sent Jennings out?) If you can pass that online test, you ought to be amazing at regular Jeopardy.

Oh well. I'll try again next year.

BTW - please, please, please spell "jeopardy" correctly! I came in second in my 5th grade spelling bee because I misspelled that stupid word. It haunts me to this day. I can spell it now, so don't screw it up for me! :P

Good luck next year!

#8 — September 28, 2007 @ 14:31PM — Baritone [URL]

Chris,

First, I'm amazed that you found this article buried in time as it must have been. I agree with both you and Clavos above about the greater difficulty of the test questions. At least we didn't have to second guess Einstein, or recall the plot turnings of Beowolf.

I suppose it's true of most of us that we have great recall about certain subjects and little or none with others. The more successful contestants seem to be able to recall bits and pieces pretty much across the board. That was certainly true of Jennings.

I must say I was happy for him. It made for some unusual excitement for the time he was on. Hurray for the geeks! I remember the game he lost. It was bound to happen, but throughout that particular show, I didn't really think he'd lose. The woman who unseated him wasn't particularly great. As I recall, she lost the very next game. Jennings just missed a couple of daily doubles if memory serves, and then blew the Final Jeapordy question. Such is life.

I may give it another shot come January, or whenever they offer it again. I've got nothing to lose but the 15 or 20 minutes it takes to go through it, and, of course, my pride. But my pride has taken much greater beatings than the trauma of blowing a Jeopardy test during the course of my life. I'm tough. I can take it.

Baritone

#9 — January 14, 2008 @ 21:18PM — Victoria

Re:Of course the money one is likely to take away even from a fairly lengthy run on Jeapordy - Ken Jennings notwithstanding - pales in comparison to many of the other game shows - even going back to The $64000 Answer/Question programs in the 1950s.

I think the appeal of Jeapordy, though, is that it is attractive to brainiac types much moreso than any of the others. You actually have to KNOW something to win on Jeapordy, and be quick to boot. Success on most of the other game shows depends to a much greater extent on luck, or perhaps one's willingness to forego any semblance of dignity.

The prize money available on Jeapordy is not to be sneezed at, but I believe that for some at least, it is secondary to the ego boost winning provides all those smart folks. It was only a few years ago that the producers at Jeapordy doubled the money in the 2 rounds. Considering the kind of money Jeapordy likely reels in for Merv Griffin & Company (King World?) the prize money is pocket change.




If you'd like to ensure success, it's probably fairly important you know how to spell the show's name.

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