Lead: The first person to throw rocks on a team.

In retrospect it may not have been the smartest idea tell a customer at my real job — a Chicago Bears fan — that because of his allegiance he's against the New Orleans Saints and therefore hates black people. Nor was it for me to pick the Saints, who play in a dome, to win in the elements at Chicago, for including Sunday domed teams are 0-10 in such games.

The Bears were a smart pick all along, but after the clock hit 0:00, even our boy RJ isn't foolish enough to set a 25-point spread. It was also a good pick for those who love black people, for Bears head coach Lovie Smith is black, as is the other Super Bowl coach, Tony Dungy. Never once has a single Super Bowl head coach been of African-American descent. There's two weeks between now and the game. So you may hear about this.

Second: The second person to throw rocks on a team.

In 2006 Chase Utley made $500,000, an amount I could make in the next 20 years cumulatively. But this year the Philadelphia Phillies second baseman got a 900% pay raise, giving him a $4.5 million salary for 2007. It'll get better for the next seven years, where his contract extension will total $85 million. Taking a wild guess, I won't make that much even once I'm an Olympic curling hero.

Split: A shot that hits another rock and both come to rest in play.

Split between two sports, Jeff Samrzdk ... Sarxkz98ij ... Samrlqi&$z ... a wide receiver from Notre Dame will not play in the NFL and instead pursue a baseball career. The one we'll call "Jeff S." signed a $10 million deal with the Chicago Cubs.

You may ask why Sarmz ... that guy we're talking about is risking becoming the Cubs' next injury-riddled pitcher. But then you realize this is the best way to avoid being drafted by the Detroit Lions.

Takeout: A shot thrown with a lot of weight that knocks another rock out of play.

Who doesn't love a good conspiracy theory? Probably as many that love the NHL. Fortunately, the two worlds collided with a fantastic story about the NHL potentially taking Rory Fitzpatrick out of the running for the All-Star game the Al Capone way.