Grace and Jim are a college couple heading for spring break. As they traverse the countryside one dark and rainy night they happen upon a car broken down alongside the road. With poor visibility they nearly hit the driver of said car, who is standing in the middle of the lane.

Narrowly avoiding him, they opt to keep moving and head to the next gas station to call the man a tow. As the hitchhiker arrives at the gas station, Jim feels guilty and offers him a ride to the hotel up the road. As our now trio heads out, Grace and Jim soon learn there is more than meets the eye to this quiet hitchhiker and soon their spring break plans make a drastic change.

Sigh…

As a big fan of the original flick, I went into this remake with low expectations. Even with said expectations, I still found myself fed up and angry with this latest Hollywood cash-in. Filled with bland dialogue and a lack of anything that made the original so great, The Hitcher was a waste of nine dollars and an hour and a half of my life that I’ll never get back.

Problems start almost immediately as we meet our two co-stars Grace (Sophia Bush) and Jim (Zachary Knighton). From the very beginning the bland dialogue kicks in. Nearly lifeless in his college kid persona, Jim leaves us with an impression of a man who’s looking forward to this trip about as much as I was looking forward to this movie. Throw in Grace’s sassy sorority chick schtick and my ounce of compassion for our two victims sinks even lower.

Changing the entire dynamic of the original film, Jim Halsey heading cross country by himself, we are forced to contend with a couple. Where the problems arise are the scenes in between the mayhem. Couples tend to talk about boring and uninteresting things when confined to a car together; relationship talk, that sort of stuff. While this is a fact of life, I get to experience this every day. I don’t feel I need to see it in a movie. Beyond the uninteresting car talk they barely tried to make it remotely interesting. A succession of drawn-out pauses and monosyllabic answers are our treat bringing this stinker to a slow crawl between the action.