OPINION

How's Your Business Jargon Today?

Written by Alessandro Nicolo
Published January 07, 2007

A corporation seeks to unify its workers by cultivating a specific culture. By extension, an industry does the same, and like any culture, language is part of what defines it. The medical, police, financial and other professions all have their unique language and terms.

But at what point does the language graduate to jargon? In a sense, when does it all become saturated? Some industries should publish their own dictionaries. New terms and jargon enter our vernacular at a dizzying pace. When I was in the investment field, I thought I had vertigo.

You heard them, right? Alternative earning capacity. Write-offs. Moving annual turnovers. Remuneration in relation to effort. And my personal favorite: EBITDA (Earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization). It sounds like an African folk song. Sing it: Ebitda, ebitda!

So some of us communicate in a language not understood by mere mortals. Curious clients and innocent onlookers strain to listen. Most of it, of course, is absolute hogwash. It is designed more to impress than to provide insight.

Humans have emerged with a strange thought process when it comes to business language. The more we want and desire, the more complex our schemes become, the more the demand for big words to describe our big thoughts. Think about the people who invented options trading.

I witnessed this phenomenon first-hand in the financial industry. For example, one of the best places to witness new words in motion was in the boardroom. The pièce de résistance of a boardroom meeting is the presentation. Ah, the presentation; the act of showing others you are worth something. The practice by which we flaunt French cufflinks, with flaky assistants by our side.

Three cheers for loan loss provision

It’s one of those over-rated exercises that have become the strict domain of imposters and slick salesmen. Our sales techniques are so advanced and sophisticated we don't even know we are being pitched. It is here - snap, snap - we learn new words invented by some loyal pit bull in upper management. “Rick, yeah, um, go with loan loss provision to describe write-offs. It sounds, um, more professional." Sort of like the garbage man becoming the sanitizing officer.

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Alessandro Nicolo is an obtuse freelance writer living in obscene obscurity.
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How's Your Business Jargon Today?
Published: January 07, 2007
Type: Opinion
Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Business and Economics
Writer: Alessandro Nicolo
Alessandro Nicolo's BC Writer page
Alessandro Nicolo's personal site
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Comments

#1 — January 10, 2007 @ 12:12PM — DIGSox [URL]

I completely agree with you. I feel like I have to decipher a lot of the bs being thrown around my office.

The Buzzword Blends calls this disease "buzzword blending syndrome".

#2 — January 10, 2007 @ 12:30PM — alessandro nicolo [URL]

It's so absurd sometimes it's comical. Keep it simple. Classic and proven acid tests like earnings and retained earnings. Stuff like that. Not all the lard that goes around it. Bottom line: does the company earn? What's its management team like? The worst is when average people use jargon to show off. I remember a time when I could not go anywhere without someone bragging about having bought shares of some stupid company during the height the bubble. It was crazy the buzz. It was so obvious it was going to tip. How could it possibly sustain itself when the herd mentality was pushing prices up?

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