OPINION

Lights Out: When a Cigar Turns Bad

Written by Jenn Jordan
Published January 05, 2007

There are truths in life that we are forced to swallow, no matter how much they might make us choke. For cigar lovers, one of these truths can often be found lurking in the darkness, peering out from behind fire hydrants and rose bushes in hopes of not being seen. Yet, it cannot hide forever; every person who smokes on a regular basis is bound to discover this dismal reality: there is such a thing as a bad cigar.

I know this is hard to hear for you, the cigar lover. A person who reveres cigars, placing them on pedestals and allowing them to ride shotgun in your car as your family crams in the back seat, you might find yourself in shock at this fact. But, before you begin rocking silently in the corner, keep in mind that bad cigars are pretty easy to find: faulty stogies don‘t need to be placed in a police line up in order to be spotted. The following are some tips to help you know when a cigar isn’t worth being lit:

You bought it at the local grocery store: It’s important to keep in mind that good cigars are not typically sold at the local market, placed in between the Juicy Fruit gum and the double A batteries. They are also not sold for only two or three dollars. When you purchase a cigar for 2.50 from a Piggy Wiggly’s, that cigar will taste like a cigar for 2.50 from Piggy Wiggly‘s. To avoid this, splurge a little and only purchase cigars from places that don’t also have an entire aisle dedicated to incontinence.

Your cigar is so dry it makes the Sahara look damp: Does your cigar ever have that not so fresh feeling? If it does, one reason may be because it does not contain enough humidity, a problem that leaves a cigar dry and stale. When a cigar dries out, it’s hard to save. This is because the cigar has lost many of its essential oils, losing its flavor in the process. However, if the cigar isn’t too dry, it may be possible to revive it by placing it in a humidor and gradually increasing the humidity. If the cigar is so dry that the wrapper has begun to crack and peel, the only thing you can really save is time, by throwing the cigar away. To avoid this dryness from happening, be sure to keep your cigars stored properly inside a balanced humidor.

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Jenn Jordan is a cartoonist in the Denver area. She loves drinking wine, watching sports, and her online gambling addiction could probably use an intervention. For syndication information, please visit her website at Greetings From Mars.
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Lights Out: When a Cigar Turns Bad
Published: January 05, 2007
Type: Opinion
Section: Tastes
Filed Under: Tastes: Smoking
Writer: Jenn Jordan
Jenn Jordan's BC Writer page
Jenn Jordan's personal site
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