Dear Elsa,

I am finally beginning to understand how powerful Neptune and 12th house placements have been in my life. In spite of Saturn and Mercury also figuring largely in my chart, I cannot seem to ground my sexual & romantic attractions in the here and now reality of day-to-day existence. Instead, I have cultivated the habit of "imaginary lover" (usually some popular culture figure). Or if it has been someone in my immediate environment, it is usually a person who simply is not available or even interested in me.

I am grateful I can actually laugh at myself about this, seeing as it is quite absurd and provides an outlet for a much needed release from the intense emotions. However, the price of my daydreaming has been quite high as I am sure I have let significant opportunities for intimate relationships slide on by.

What needs to be done and do you see me getting over this habit anytime soon?

Dreaming of Love

Dear Dreaming,

Recognizing your problem is a major step in the right direction - but I don't see you getting over this habit ever if you don't seriously apply yourself. It's like being a drunk or a drug addict. You aren't going to wake up one day sober or straight. You're going to have to fight. You are going to have to make breaking this 'habit" a priority and no one is going to decide to do that but you.

As for what needs to be done, you are aware at this point that given endless options in this life, you turn to the choice that leaves you writhing around in this delicious sort of agony, pining for your love object. It's no different than the stay at home mom who opts to pop her Vicodin every day. So what would you tell her? Lay off the pills? Come back to the world?

If you want a new movie, you are going to have to see the temptation and turn away. And you'll never make it if you do not find other outlets for this energy and I'll give you an idea what I mean.

I have Venus Neptune myself, and tendencies that are similar to yours. Rather than spend all my love energy on some ungettable guy, I channel as much of it as I can into this work. Service that is. You have to love people to do what I do. You have to care for them. You have to love strangers. And can you see how this is similar?

What are you doing with these celebrities? You are loving strangers, yes? So why not put that love that can go anywhere and land on anyone, to better use?

If you know anything about any of the 12-step programs, in the end they suggest you serve. For your own good! So this is my advice. Use your energy in ways that are constructive rather than destructive to yourself and others. Because get this other Neptune concept: If you are hurting yourself, you are hurting others. Help yourself, by helping others. Help others by helping yourself.

Good luck.