Equal at Birth, Not in Life
Published December 29, 2006
When I was in sixth grade, Sister Mabel taught us how to multiply and divide fractions. Unlike my previous teachers, Sister Mabel taught us in a way I could understand. Up until then, I was a mathematical moron, so this was a huge deal to me. Finally, I had broken the code and could step through the club doors.
Sister Mabel divided the room into two lines by gender. It was a relay race of working fractions at the chalkboard. Nine girls were indifferent and eleven boys were loud. I couldn't wait for my turn, as I was sure I could crush the trash-talking boys into oblivion.
Once it was my turn, I took the chalk from my defeated teammate and proceeded to whisk away the boys' hope of triumph. I solved problem after problem with confidence and clarity. I overcame my mathematical incompetence and quieted the other line's cockiness with each stroke of chalk. It was my proudest academic moment - until the girls became restless.
We girls had been taught fairness and sensitivity to a fault, to the point where teamwork and camaraderie were considered liabilities instead of assets. As the only granddaughter of more than 20 grandchildren, I was too familiar with losing to boys and was determined to take this win all the way home.
Instead of cheering me on, the girls demanded someone else get a turn at the board. The boys cheered and the girls didn't seem to know why. I stood my ground. I was sure my teammates could be swayed by the knowledge that defeating the boys would give all of us girls something to hold over them through every game of kickball, dodgeball, and four-square. The boys would know our fury and eat it for lunch for the rest of their lives.
Sister Mabel tried to get the other girls behind me, but they would have none of it. She uttered some nonsense about democracy and I was cast aside. I conceded my chalk and unfairly became a part of a group that lost so badly, the points I'd scored didn't even matter. The boys rightly sneered away my achievement. I was on the losing team and that's all that mattered - to them and me. The girls wrongly touted the number of points I'd won, as if this were some kind of salve for the wound they'd inflicted.
Years later, my son and daughter were caught in a similar situation. Their teams were co-ed, and the demon of fairness would once again rear its ugly head. For them it was not the benched team members who would set the stage. It was the teacher himself who decided each player would be given but one word to spell.
Diana (nee Gulick) Hartman is the Culture and Tastes Editor for Blogcritics.org. She is a freelance writer, mother of three, and a (Ret.) US Marine spouse. She is a Wichita, Kansas native, having also lived in the California desert, eastern North Carolina and Stuttgart, Germany. She currently resides in Oceanside, California. She is a contributing writer to Holiday Writes.
- Equal at Birth, Not in Life
- Published: December 29, 2006
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Society, Culture: Personal History, Culture: Family and Relationships, Culture: Education
- Writer: Diana Hartman
- Diana Hartman's BC Writer page
- Diana Hartman's personal site
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While I see your point about the foolishness of making the driving test easier, I don't understand your comparison to your math relay race.
From the way you described the story, you displayed less teamwork and camaraderie than the other girls, not the other way around. They wanted a chance to play for their team, and you wanted to be the only one to play just so that you personally could beat the boys. You call that teamwork? I call it ball hogging. What exactly would the other girls have gained if the girls' team won but only one girl actually played? A victory in name only.
When it comes to school and learning, fairness -- everyone gets a turn even if they're not as skilled or smart -- is a much better value to teach children than winning at all costs.
Sister Mabel should have spent more time helping the other girls understand and like math than pitting the boys and girls against each other. Learning isn't something to hoard or wield over others to make them feel inferior. What an unhealthy educational environment!
Diana,
This was an excellent piece that rightly belonged in the politics section of the magazine. While you are the culture editor, this is a very political piece. Pieces similar to it at Desicritics.org are rightly called political, as the entitlements you talk about in passing that have been turned into legislation in your homeland are called "reservations" there and are the subject of bitter debate.
Needless to say, I agree with you 100% on all the points you make here, even though I suffered from the exact opposite problem. Once upon a time, the folks at the City University had the guts to upgrade their standards, instead of dumbing them down, and I was forced to attend a college in the Bronx, instead of Brooklyn College, as I was originally supposed to. This was done after I had taken the senior tests for matriculation, and after the grades were in, and there was nothing I could do about it. It was unfair, but life is unfair.
lori, I think that the problem is, academics, like driving is NOT a team sport.
How would you feel if you were graded an 'A' on your paper but received a 'C' because the other person on your team got an 'F', so the teacher took some of your grade and added it to theirs to make things more 'fair'?
I have a serious problem with dumbing things down for equality.
I have a serious problem with lowering standards for equality.
Add your comment, speak your mind
(Or ping: http://blogcritics.org/mt/tb/57590)
Just another example of how to "dumb down" requirements so that everyone is able to be "equal" to everyone else. It's just another resurgance of the "Great Society" that spawned all the the "Entitlements" of the 60's and 70's. If you have something you "owe" it to the people that don't have that. And don't ask if it is wanted. Someone else will decide for both of you. They probably have something also, but they will keep theirs and share yours.